O father

I know Father’s day is belated, but June still is the month for the celebration, very much so… and contemplating on that, I do have something to say about it. The rest of this article might be unfair to a certain individual, but I rather like my voices heard therefore the rest of the individuals would do better for their children and ensuring a happy home on this earth. Let me tell you a story.

There was a kid; she grew admiring her father so much that she long for his approval in everything she did. She even wanted to follow his footsteps to become what her father was, in the navy (thank God she chose a different path!). Life gets tougher when the sisters were born; her dad’s attentions were all on them if not work or outside of home. Then she decided to struggle, got good grades, take care of the little sisters, basically being an obedient eldest daughter, and she even joined his Tabligh movement, learn all the Surah by heart when every other kids her age busy playing and not bother about the world around. Still, he is very hard to please. He saw everything she and her sisters did as another rebellious act to get what they want. Yet, all she wanted is “that’s very good, girl, keep up the good work”, not all the presents he promised if she ever got 1st place in academic achievement. (Still, she did not get everything despite winning first every year).

Then he started becoming mean… money was definitely the family constraints. Mom has to work; the girls were being independent beyond their years at that time. Unfortunately, dad did not value those sacrifices. Guess he just wanted more although he couldn’t give more. From an unfortunate event after another the following years, their father finally left them, for another woman. What worst is, he never put an effort to call her and her sisters regularly to at least showed he cares although he cannot gives any money (still?). All that admiration for him and backing him every time she did for nothing?

It is heartbreaking to see how she’s react in June every year. I wish she‘d stay strong for the rest of the family. Judging from the experience, I believed men frightens her. She always wonder if she ever married a man that could be the best father her kids will ever have. It is scary, comparing that to my life, knowing the men I met in my life that I almost suck him into my world… it is sad! So… am I wrong to be skeptical on this matter… it is all seems so similar… seems so much like me…. Can it be?

P/s: the card is till unsent, when will I have the courage to say… “I love you dad”