Reminiscing Moko – October 2008

"Adegan kayak gini paling sering ada di
film-film, seorang cowok ngasih jaketnya ke sang cewek untuk dipakai. Lambang
pelindung, superrioritas, dan ke-essential-an laki-laki yang lebih tegar dari
wanita, sekaligus lambang kelmebutan wanita yang akan selalu memancarkan
aura-aura dengan keindahan tak terhingga yang harus laki-laki jaga dan lindungi.
Setiap nonton adegan seperti ini, dulu gue sering banget mencoba meraba-raba
mengartikannya. Tapi sekarang gue ngerasain sendiri... rasanya lain
banget."

That I borrowed from the words of Indy written by Donny Dhirgantoro in his book 5cm. Kangen si jadinya... ah, what a memory.

p/s: Loh, koq puasa-puasa mikirin ini?

Perempuan Berkalung Sorban... itu Aku

Lek Khudori quoting to strong Muslimah:

“Aku tidak butuh laki-laki untuk tempat bergantung, tapi aku butuh laki-laki
untuk aku cintai” kata Ontosoroh

Anissa concluded:

"Kalian semua adalah calon muslimah, calon istri untuk suami kalian tercinta,
dan calon ibu untuk anak-anak yang kalian sayangi. Surga menurut janji Alloh,
ada di bawah telapak kaki kita, perempuan. Tapi jangan lupa satu hal bahwa Alloh juga memberikan manusia kebebasan. Mau jadi apapun kalian nanti, pilihlah jalan
Alloh dengan rasa bebas dan dengan hati yang ikhlas. Dengan begitu insya’Alloh
kita akan hidup dengan tenang dan tanpa rasa benci.”

While Me:
Di saat tangisan sebagai hamba yang lemah didengari Allah, aku semakin sayangkan Ramadhan, aku mau banyakkan amal... supaya nanti aku tetap berjumpa sama Lek Khudori aku, walau untuk sementara, walau aku harus tunggu hingga akhir usia. Aku tau Allah akan sentiasa menemani aku di saat aku lupa dan terlalu occupied dengan masalah dunia. Aku tidak akan mengalah dengan tarikan amarah... Insya Allah...


Ketika Cinta - CT (dengar)

Ana...

"Dan kini aku malu dengan kenyataan ku sendiri..."

Depends on who's waiting for you on the other side.

Again, I have been in that major depression episode. In my heart that is; because as I recall, I managed to function at my 90% best in the workplace. What would that make me? Yes, that means I am still a reliable worker indeed. Yet, I am not a stronger woman inside; as on one particular very tiring working day in a very cold place seeing me Losing it; brought me to crying uncontrollably in the car while driving back home. Not only that alone is a major hazard, me constantly wiping those tears that managed to flow non-stop made the ride even more daunting. Nevertheless, God still loves me, I manage to steer through the night and safely reach the crib. Why was I such a mess? While it may not be so clear to me on the exact reason, I still believe it had to do with me failing to let what heart matters flow like a river as I had been persistently promised myself. Funny too, after all these years, accepting the way the family has always been, I kept questioning on why I felt like a failure whenever I am around them and myself. Why I will never be worthy for somebody else to love me and keep me for the rest of my life. This fear of commitment is crazy as I realize I will never be brave enough to cross that road. How I long for those moment, and I quote what Norah Jones (in her My Blueberry Night) said, “It wasn't so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who's waiting for you on the other side”. Do you see anyone?