Mundane

So much as keeping things to myself, to being discreet…I gracefully exposed my own private information on certain failure recently. And… the news does not help juiced up my mundane life as it is now. So much to impress the superiors I guess, now I looked just like any ordinary person who work to earn a living. What a shame! I could have been something marvelous, something big, instead? Just another normal human being who doesn’t seems to change anytime soon.

*Sigh* (this is the only things appropriate to do now…)

la torturra

My mind was racing again, watching through the windows glass, still asking myself, what will the future hold for me. Will all my dreams finally come true? It's amazing how the sightseeing triggered my brains into illusioning something beautiful that I wish IT IS the reality. Yet, when it took it's baby steps into the real world, I took a step backwards. Why can't I let the dream to becomes true? Because it will then be too perfect? It is unacceptably ridiculous to comprehend.

Talking about forever, again, had let me be this way. Afraid of what may become. The insecurity had cause me to choke to death everytime someone brings it up no matter how sweet the sound. Was it because it's just not the one or the timing was still all wrong?

Whatever happens to "go with the flow"? I wonder...

hectic week

Finally took a time off from work, I mean really leaving the office for more than one day, five days to be exact and what did i get from it? A non-stop tasks one after another, can tell you that there was never quite a rest, i didn't even get to sit down and study hard enough for the exam this saturday. Still, among all the obligations, I manage to keep updated with all ups and abouts around me:

For starters, my number one passion... Rock Star..INXS... Told yer all, JD is the one and he did it! Didn't really get to watch the result though but do got time to witness how Mr JD Fortune worthy of being the next INXS front man! way to go man!!!! My prediction was right and will keep on doing it! Marty Casey is always the brilliant one but I do believe he is the man for himself, he will doing just fine without being the frontman of INXS. Woo hoo!!!

Other events on the horizon, the most awaited one since January 2005. My beloved sister's convocation. Odd enough that they got to be in the same 'sidang', even odder it all went well without too much chaotic unfortunate circumstances. I do got 'melecet' though. And I did dissappoint them on the photo side ( wrong configuration on the maual camera - too complicated la... ) hehehe... Overall, the whole event does make me proud of them and at the same time a little emotional to see that we made it. Prove everybody wrong that is. Wish i had the pictures here. They do worth more than thousand words that I could be describing here. Well done girls.

What else? lot more had happened that I could not even put it in words. As about me. It is getting more complicated to figure out just yet what I do want or do not want in love in particular and in life generally. This will be an ongoing unsolved matters i need to look up to for the rest of my life, well, at least til i found the exact solution, which i doubt will be anytime soon. what a week, what a week indeed.

Back to work again... why is it that it's getting more frustrated?

betrayed..

Suddenly felt like writing a lot today. A lot of emotions throughout the weeks and nothing seem to eliminate all the negative ones. Wonder what could have driven all those feeling to emerged, funny how comments and opinions does not sounds so accommading, instead declining my motivation to succeed. Is that why colleagues can only colleagues and not friends beyond office hours? I guess it's true, hence the existence of backstabber and snobbish yuppies. What a way to eard my money with all honesty. I wish I could see it all transparently and not being so judgemental. I'd say the critical thinking of mind is due to my in-depth observation towards things that people can never thought I saw. Guess what, I care! Too much that it hurts.

Sometimes it is good to have a company, but with this environment i am adapting to, better keep it all to myself.

Down to three...

It has now come down to 3, to the finale at last... at last indeed. Who going to win? My prediction will be Mr JD Fortune. Then again, all three were indeed best in their very own styles. No hard feeling should Mr Marty (my rockstar:INXS crush) or Mr Mig won. All of them deserve it. All I can say is, I will always be the freaking rock fan who adores them from afar, what a shame, but a good thoughts indeed. (well, i at least i thought so)

The Lost Hunter

Being over confident comes with a price, and losing is definitely not an option, the consequence? the prolonged dissappointment. It was so devastated to lose in such a closed hunt that could have been won easily... It's all due to wrong small judgments that could have been otherwise huge victory forever remembered by all and eventually open up eyes that long diverted to all the wrong directions. Then again, what's done is done, we can never do nothing about it, now. On the bright side, my luck definitely turning around for the better this time on small receiving of what they-called lucky draw, it wasn't a tremendous humongous gift but enough to ease the devastating feeling of losing the main event. What a night, with all the boys, wish my own team is here with me… on the 7th and 8th of Spetember, hunting away from KL to Kuantan for the yearly event of EPF's Club Treasure Hunt ~*sigh*~

On other occasions… do I need to go along with this? The idea of forever and ever? Do I dare to move? Decision, decision.