Monday, February 14, 2005

V for volatility?

Supposedly D-Day for all the lovers out there be it whom or what ever that they are in love with. It is the celebration of love and affection that touch one’s heart deep enough to appreciate life as a whole. Although with the belief system I have, it is not encouraged to be obsessed with it, yet, I am depressed on this very day (perhaps it’s just the manic Monday)… actually feeling left out of the excitement. I am feeling so low that I start to despise every thing I did or think or look. What a snob! Why should I make the fuss on this? The fact that I seem like having someone at the moment, it certainly doesn’t feel like it. I am feeling invisible. I am doing it out of gratitude that I hope I could give my love in return. Weird though, it’s been almost three months and neither of us doing it like everybody else. Is it because of me being over protected? (Could be the major reason) or I am just totally constrained myself to be overly attracted? It is part of the sabotaging myself yet again scheme I gues…
…………..see how relevant V being volatile?… I am walking on air…..
One fact I know, although it seems like I am in a good rapport, the truth is I don’t feel loved but I feel insignificant. What a feeling… worth hooked on it? Unlikely.

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