The fattening situation

I don’t know what to do. Felt like screaming my lungs out, but my heart insisted I kept them all inside my head. This feeling tortured me in sabotaging my body every minute starting by a more regular visit to the kitchen, not to cook for the family, more like indulging my stomach even when it didn’t sing for a refill. After more junk food after another, slouching into the very comfortable couch of mine and a remote control in my hand, I, myself have made the whole situation looks and sounds even more sinful. Where is me who have been so self-conscious and will do something about it?

Definitely a turn-off. I am so disgusting.

Trivia Madness

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Being Thirty, a Muslimah, and to be in a Relationship

It's that feeling again; me hitting the big 3 0 and unsure about things to come. What are my security, my career growth and most important thing how do I able to find love again (that's important?), well, since mom nagging me more about it now. This thing about hope, dream & relationships do keep me wonder all the time and bore readers to death! Anyway, at the time when I feel at the lowest about relationship, I came across yet another Oprah's show that again succeed to inspire. It has made me feel embarrassed and relieved at the same time.

The Oprah Winfrey Show titled "Thirty-something in America " is about women in their 30s with 8 children or no children after 7 years of marriage or minority in America etc. And then there is this one Muslim woman clad in a full attire as a Muslim, surprisingly looked like in a baju kurung and a veil, Mubarakah Ibrahim is the owner and head trainer of BALANCE fitness Studio for women in New Haven, CT where she offers fitness education, personal training and group fitness classes for women. Yes, she is fitness instructor who clad in full dress as a muslim Woman. So, nothing can stop Muslim or Muslimah from doing anything in life these days, as long it doesn’t cross the line.

She explained to Oprah about Islam, how she came about getting married at 16 after and only met the guy once after being introduced by a mutual friend or family. How she only dated if another person tagged along because that’s how Islam taught us to do. No holding hands, no intimate conversation etc. She made me realized mistakes I’ve done and I’m glad those past relationship didn’t worked maybe because they are not right or the way love is accepted is not right etc. Love was driven with all the wrong feelings, that marriage never in a picture or always seems wrong to endure. I am supposed to embrace Islam and live accordingly without crossing a line. So, I am right not to want to go on a date on regular basis and unless I got another company to go along and marrying the right person who can remind me the right way to love and live life as a Muslim. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with my relationship and me as I am living my life now; I just haven’t met the RIGHT one. And mind you all who to believe RIGHT being PERFECT. No it’s not, it just imply right.

Yes, that is the moral of the show I managed to ponder and learn, and another is how I can be in my 30s and a minority or not married or not having children or not having millions yet and still living life to the fullest. The most important is if I am living my dreams and I am happy then I am ok. I should keep on hoping for good things in life to come in whatever decade it will arrive. I just need to pursue my goals without having to forgo my faith and its way of life.

"My 30s should be about my family and career."

For you all, these are a useful link regarding the issue:
Oprah, Thirty-Something in America
Fit Muslimah