Aku Melayang lagi...

Andrea Hirata did it again. Thanks to a good friend down in Surabaya who have been very kind to have sent me the book all the way across South China Sea... Thanks ya Iyul! I'll cherish it all my life! Kapan ke malaysia? :-)

The book my friend, is Maryamah karpov. And again it made me making faces and feeling it deep into them pages. The ending was quite confusing for me, but I think I'll read the tetralogy again someday. As always Andrea inspired me, but not enough to push me for the MPH short story writing competition due in 31st March. I think I am inspired and yet my mind couldn't put anything good in writing worthy of being judged for the best in the nation. Weird huh? I am inspired but not much inspiration penetrates into my brain and eventually trigger my fingers to write those magical words that could amazed any literature fan for now. Why am I so stuck?

As for Maryamah Karpov, the book again brought me into the journey of world filled with possibilities and dreams. Going onto path towards civilization harmonized by unity among differences and passions in life. How we wish such world exist on every inches of land on this earth I supposed, then peace at last. Then again, one can always dream, and another can always make it happened, someday, and soon I hope.

Ok people, I am going to attempt Andrea here, be still your heart, for this might break you or something else... anything.

Cinta.. , terlalu tinggi kata itu pada seseorang dan tentunya pada satunya yang lain. Ia sesuatu yang sukar dimengertikan sehingga kadang-kadang sebetulnya kita hanya berasa pada satu belah tangan sahaja. Pedih kalau terjadi yang sebetulnya itu, sekonyol-konyol diperbodohkan diri sendiri. wah... penasaran ya? Aku contoh terhampir tentang ketegaran membuktikan cinta sejati yang tampak indah atas talian. Aku sudah pun menyeberang lautan mencarinya, kerna aku begitu pasti pengenalan hampir dua tahun 'online' itu membolehkan aku sadar itu yang aku mau banget. Tapi ternyata, aku hanya bermain perasaan sendiri, dan ternyata, tiada yang lebih realis dari realiti sebenar, melihat dengan mata sendiri, berdiri atas tanah yang sama, menghirup udara yang sama dan segala yang seumpama. Realiti sebetulnya menyakitkan, walaupun kamu semua tidak mahu mengakuinya, kesempurnaan adalah yang kamu cari, aku bukan bermaksud sesempurna Nabi, kerna ia pastinya tidak akan terjadi, tetapi sememangnya kesederhanaan kita mahukan yang seadanya tampak, sempurna... Ngerti? Fikir-fikirkan lagi kalau belum mengerti. Ah, kawan, dunia www ternyata satu lagi dunia fantasi yang manusia ciptakan untuk menhindari kita semua dari kejamnya alam sebenar dalam hidup kita. Aku pasrah...

Hehe.. did i just do that? I guess I ought to try it at least once. How did I do? Did i manage to pull Andrea Hirata?

Andai Aku Sang Putri

Finally we got to watch the most talked about Musical performance made by Malaysians in Malaysia in town; Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical, we even bought the tickets early on, in December 2008. O what an affair it was! What a treat I finally got for mom and sis to witness it together with me (as a payback I didn’t take them for P Ramlee last time). The overall performance was wonderful, sat seven meters away from the stage, we have to look up once in a while when both Gustri Putri and Tuah up on that mountain professing love and affections. The sound was overly projected; I depended on the translation display to get what they were talking about. Despite, I was in awe and I totally enjoyed it. So was mom, despite her disapproval of their costumes, hehehe... Java maa… need to get into character. Wonder what will I wear should I was cast for the performance. Mmm…

On a different note, I was really into the show, at times I swear I saw myself, so vulnerable and so intense in confessing, concerning what heart matters, with dignity all in tact. Wish I was once loved in such historical and dramatic circumstances. Wonder if I was a princess in previous life… Gusti Putri Raden Adjeng Retno Dumilah to be exact

February Song...

It’s February again, being a hopeless romantic myself, this particular month never failed to soften my heart and smile every time I saw people so deeply in love be it on the screen or in reality. I have found love,then I lost love, now I have been without love for five years, it still gives me the blues. Watching the tele whole day during weekend gave me mix of emotions, even Spongebob got a Valentine’s Day special episode… *sigh*

I actually promise myself to put my feet down on this matter. I guess it’s too hard, and that’s why I chose to just be at home. Staring at the same shows on TV. I guess Love indeed just another game we play.

February Song ~ Josh Groban

How brave are you?

I was getting two doses of bravery story this month. First I was made to watch my sister’s friend’s directorial effort for a theater called BERANI MATI. It was a humble performance by five manly men who were showing us what it takes to fight the right combat and die for it…NOT! It was a good show, not to say it wasn’t great, I guess it wasn’t too much of my forte in show genre. The guys actually showed the coward side of us all without us knowing it ever present inside all of us. It does make us, or at least me, asking myself, what JIHAD act I did to fight for my fellow Muslims. Seriously. Does ‘tunjuk perasaan’ and boycotting everything (look again at the list of brands they wanted us to boycott, honestly we cannot eat, drink and use everything…) really helps them fight for their life? It is sad though to see how helpless our friends’ fights to stay alive and provide the best dreams for the little ones and promising tomorrow will be a better day. I wish I can do more, I wish I am BOLD enough to enroll as a reserved Army and be in that battle towards humanity in general and Jihad for Allah in particular. I guess I am not that brave to BERANI MATI huh? Well staged drama Faz…

Next showanship about courage and heroism is the movie call The Brave One on ASTRO, starring Jodie Foster and my man, Terence Howard! It was a nerve wrecking drama that made me question my part in society. While it scared the hell out of me to be alone in this crazy world, it made me wonder how much longer I will just be another bystander along our unpredictable streets and corners? Is it ok to take matters with our own bare hand when, honestly, how many cases were seeing justice in this world? Not many I can say. There are lots of kinds of people; we can never know who to trust significantly. Now, this just made me even more skeptical of strangers. How do we make more friends with this cynicism in mind? How to lean on somebody when those so-called friends I so little have is not dependable twenty four seven? It’s hell of a ride out there, all those moments I went home very late from work, help somebody out in odd hours, I know I need to depends on the almighty Allah for savior when I often let down by fellow human reliability. I am not trying to exaggerate my unfortunate cases, but when it happened one, too many times, you’d just stop being hopeful. I just did.

No love in new year?

I can't say that I am not hurt when I heard the news that Giring got a

new girlfriend, I guess I am not good enough for a celebrity status huh? *sigh*

I guess no one love me anymore...

And I am not saying my family didn't.. they love me a lot (or so I hope)...

I just need that different kinda love... hehehehe (so direct)

I guess I am just in that hormonal change phase.. BAD TIME! o man! I am so messed up!

*sigh* *sigh*

Obsession

Not the perfume. Literally it is, the feeling I had after finishing of the year with I think a big bang event itself. Managed to overcome the resistance to step into the most overrated club in town, the six guys under the title NIDJI saw me watching them in action last Sunday 21st of December 2008. A memorable concert it was as after I saw Giring LIVE; I know...

He's the ONE.

My Husband?

Dean Koontz mentions his thought on qualities a husband should bring to his marriage, i.e.;

“Cherish her as a child of God. If you truly married for love, then it was not
merely her looks or personality that enchanted you, but her unique soul. If you
remember that the essence of her is sacred, you will treat her with respect and
have a sense of awe at the destiny that brought you together.”

So boys, who read my blog… be it you single, to be married, or married, please be inspired. I sure hope to have individual of that kind one day. As I have finished endure the suspense in book The Husband by Dean Koontz, the end words truly showed that he meant every words throughout the enthralling story. This one ends in two and half days! Phew.

After Finished reading that, I just got matched with THE LAKE HOUSE in one those quiz in Facebook, and got excited about it, because I am so into that film when most of my friends think the movie’s ridiculous. Then I saw Trading Spaces (one of the reality series on TV), then the hot carpenter named Brandon reminds me of how appealing that is to have a very handy husband one day. Hahahahaha. So, what do I want in a man? Just the kind that will appreciate me as Mr. Dean Koontz put it in quote above. Hmmm

The Unbearable Anguish

Perhaps I am the pathetic one. I felt helpless every time the loads of work thrown on me; it feels like a heavy burden pour upon the shoulder of a man even the strongest cannot handle it. At times I felt like I was pushed into the rink among the fastest horses rode by their jockey beating each other to finish the race with the glorious victory. The spectators will watch powerlessly in horror, the shocked jockeys wouldn’t even have a second to even think of next course of action to do in that very atrocious moment. Let alone them, I, the one in the middle of that commotion will found myself closing my eyes, taking all the pain men can bear with all good thoughts and life playing before my eyes. That’s not even close to how vulnerable I am feeling right now. Pause.

Okay, what’s with the Horses analogy? Well, I just finished reading Under Orders book by Dick Francis, a very good British crime story to fulfill my train ride time indeed. Horse, jockey, spoilt brat, wager.com etc definitely a fresh change in my book genre.

Continue. Anyways, back to my reality again. Do I have the right to hate the situation or the person that made me feel like this? Why do I suddenly let my vulnerability taking over my insecurity to prove that I am a very reliable and useful human being slash employees? Urgh! I do despise that superior persona though, the bossy, intimidating and big fat ass he is.

God… please do forgive me.

Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck

I don’t know what to feel after finished reading Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wjick by HAMKA after suggested by so many people. I am so mad at them that I am not sure what to feel exactly right now. Was it worth it? Sticking to the first love, wait your whole life for it, then when the time finally came, the egomaniac kicking in, and we lost it in the next instance. It was such a sad ending, I wish I can rewrite the whole love story again, like rewriting Romeo and Juliet with a twist… mmm… something to ponder eh?

Please guys, read the book, suffer with me....

Road of Less Travelled

Got the chance to travel to the East Coast twice this year, one with me slept through the ride on the bus until we reached the intended destination. The other one attempted recently on a road trip with a friend who actually had to go because of duty call. Taking on the opportunity of free hotel stay and ride, I decided to go along.

Land of Tok Nik Aziz
Kota Bahru, the rustic small town is certainly inviting despite not much to explore. After 7 hours driving, enjoying every scenic view, air and sounds of East Coast road along Raub, Bentong, Gua Musang, Kuala Krai etc, we finally reached Kota Bahru in the late afternoon. After prayer, we went ahead to Pantai Cahaya Bulan, a must itinerary for Kota Bahru. Ten minutes of looking at the big waves hitting the beach, and few snap of photos later, we were back in the car due to heavy pour. Then we spent the night at Kak Maizirah’s house, having dinner at home since it’s raining with Mi Kg Pek, spicyly yummy (and I don’t usually fond of spicy food). Next day, we gotta have breakfast with Nasi Kerabu, and so we did, it was a simple spread, and cheap. We checked in into Garden Riverview hotel overlooking the very chocolate-y coloured Kelantan River. WE then scaled Pasar siti Khadijah and THE Bazaar, scored one or two well-bargained Batik. As per everybody’s recommendation, we had lunch at Nasi Ulam Cikgu. Delicious large spread lunch and cheap! Yeay! Another round of Kota Bahru the next day; while Jojie’s working, then we are off to the next destination. One regret is that we never got to watch the original Wayang Kulit...

you gotta love Kelantan for this...

Land of the many mosques
Kuala Terengganu. The place where we should have bought all the batik (they say it’s cheaper in Kuala Terengganu) and Keropok, but due to time constraints there, all the purchase made in Kota Bahru was a smart judgment. Stayed in Primula Park royal Hotel, which is the best hotel stayed for the trip. Spent the Jojie’s working day with a friend who took me around town including the visit to the very recently famous landmark, Masjid Kristal. And then we are off to the last destination. And I was driving. Surprise! And I have proven again, I am indeed a reckless driver, and loving every minute of it. :-)

Last but not least
The final destination again has nothing much to see but a definite resting place for the long trip. In Kuantan Pahang, we stayed in the M.S Garden Hotel (I forgot to check what M.S stands are for). It is a very old and outdated hotel with not so friendly staff. Anyways, we went to Tanjung Lumpur, have a good Sata and a lavish seafood dinner which mostly were wasted because we were full with the Sata before. Tamak! Padan muka. Then we lepaking at Teluk Chempedak, looking at sunsets. It was a worthy jalan-jalan cari makan though. As if that wasn’t enough, we slept after dinner due to kekenyangan and went to the mall to have a round of Starbucks. What’s the deal? I am not quite sure; perhaps I just gotta have those because I saw the Starbucks outlet. Crazy! The next day we are back to KL before stopped for Keropok souvenir for family and friends.

Despite the constant raining throughout the tour, it was a good journey for me indeed, I finally step my feet in Kota Bahru, Kelantan… yeay!

Back to KL, work on the next day. *sigh* Tired…

Just after we reached home, since it is a monsoon season, Kota Bahru and Kuala Terengganu were hit by major flood. We are glad because we back before got trapped in that bad weather. But my heart still went to those whose home and lives were ruined with that disaster. When will this end? I guess pihak berwajib should be looking into better plan for those town so they won’t be experiencing this every year… please….