The Unbearable Anguish

Perhaps I am the pathetic one. I felt helpless every time the loads of work thrown on me; it feels like a heavy burden pour upon the shoulder of a man even the strongest cannot handle it. At times I felt like I was pushed into the rink among the fastest horses rode by their jockey beating each other to finish the race with the glorious victory. The spectators will watch powerlessly in horror, the shocked jockeys wouldn’t even have a second to even think of next course of action to do in that very atrocious moment. Let alone them, I, the one in the middle of that commotion will found myself closing my eyes, taking all the pain men can bear with all good thoughts and life playing before my eyes. That’s not even close to how vulnerable I am feeling right now. Pause.

Okay, what’s with the Horses analogy? Well, I just finished reading Under Orders book by Dick Francis, a very good British crime story to fulfill my train ride time indeed. Horse, jockey, spoilt brat, wager.com etc definitely a fresh change in my book genre.

Continue. Anyways, back to my reality again. Do I have the right to hate the situation or the person that made me feel like this? Why do I suddenly let my vulnerability taking over my insecurity to prove that I am a very reliable and useful human being slash employees? Urgh! I do despise that superior persona though, the bossy, intimidating and big fat ass he is.

God… please do forgive me.