Silent Treatment

What is the best the remedy for a broken-hearted, deeply-stirred emotional mother? One may say, just play along with her emotions; the other might suggest a total silent or no-action taken to tackle the situation. After 32 years of doing the former, I tend to moving into the latter direction these days. It is not a productive measures I know, but when you feel like you alone working hard in inducing a healthy relationship in your own home, it's got tired. Well aware of the imperfection being that I am, I wasn't trying to provoke things up, I just needed somebody else seeing what I am looking and feeling everyday. Don't get me wrong, I love my blood relatives, we beat as one, we felt each other's pain, we just refuse to acknowledge it sometimes and just let is slide until it tears everyone inside; it Kills me softly...

Weird though when the same situation happened to friends and foes. Been feeling like I am pulling extra effort and squeezing additional-more-than-I-own $$ to sustain or buying friendship these days. The scariest thought of me not having anyone to consult in the end caused me into doing the ridiculous acts or indulging into the absolute worst feelings possible out of desperate measures and bad assumptions. It is sad when you felt like everyone against you when you knew the act you carried out will then be blamed upon your upbringing. In my case it really does. I am just afraid to be alone but to feel the pitiness from those honest eyes and gestures wished to surrounds you with fun stuff, it's so surreal. Perhaps I am just good to just be by myself.

So, Silence really is Golden? Do pictures really worth the thousand words, and my favorite; do "A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing" really speak for itself? Perhaps I should continue living with that in mind, or I will risk my weak heart anytime soon.

And, Silent Please!