Wrapping up 2005

I know I said I don't want to this, but, heck I had to, just for the sake of concluding whatever that needed closure as the 2005 is ending:

Guys worth falling in love are those guys that can only be seen behind the fabulous TV screen. And I am shamelessly declared that HOUSE M.D. is my romantic tv series of the year! WEIRD .. but true.. from the very bottom of my heart. I am so into Dr Gregory House M.D.

The overrated fun event to spice up the life such as Treasure Hunting had for some reason becomes a sickening games that is a drag to keep pursuing. Is is the team? Or is it the fact that I hate losing? Can't really tell... no conclusion here. Probably continue striving or just stop... right here, right now!

Favorite food worth craving? anything with cheese or salads... no need elaborate cooking and not much ingredients. And a good start to keep my diet at a very low carb. BUT... living with mommy, didn't really helps. There's always good food spread out on that dinner table when I get home. And this has caused a comments from my married colleagues who always said "untungla, ada mak kat rumah, tolong masakkan". Well, who asked you to get married so early? hahahahahaha. Cruel Diana, too cruel. Jealous more like it. Thank you mom, for never stopped cooking for us.

Song of the year, country anyone? I have become more mellow every time good songs caught my ear. Current obsession, Country singers like Keith Urban, Rascal Flats.. and not so country like Gavin Degraw, and as always the ever so hypnotic voice of Chris Cornell, can't be topped by anyone else there. Just so you know, Pink Floyd had declared best Act by some voting committe beating up Rolling Stones. I'd say MELLOW rocks!!!

Being older... and more forgetful. That sucks eh? started question myself, am I ready to further my studies to obtain my Masters. Maybe not now? Kinda in an unstable state of mind, my brain filled up too fast when fed with too many information at one time. And with too many distractions, did not help at all. I'd say, one knowledge subject at a time.

Broaden my horizon for friendship, cross over a sea to find a friend, and got one I won't mind calling him a soul mate. We do speak the same language, and we do have that same interest. Then again, the relationship hasn't got further than few lines of chats and emails. Anyways, global friends are fun, they don't exactly saw your true colours but to trust those words you feed on their screen. And, TRUST my friend, is one of the most powerful thing we have to mastered for more beautiful things to follow.

Last but not least... from now on, Love and put yourself first over everything else, and second to your family, your own flesh and blood. And that's my life slogan now.

The End 2005, Welcome 2006.

The unpleasant with cherry on the side.

Wow, it has been a long time for me since the days I am looking at the computer screen 8 hours straight. Did I miss it? Not really, but it is not fair for me to just treat it as another casualty, it is after all the thing I do to earn for living, the place I have committed myself slaving into the corporate world.

Been striving hard for the ever overrated MCSE exam, well, can't say I am like studying dilligently considering the location of the studying takes place. Actually, I couldn't really decide where is the place I could put all my concentration fully, the office was just... well; work and people, really is distracting, and @ home? there are a whole lot more distractions and temptations that I couldn't resist there. So, where is the best place to put all your heart and mind to something important? I guess it will left unanswered unless I find my own strength to treat everything else as another white noise and finally put my brain and mind for good use and actually pay attention. So I paid the due, two failed papers, and four more to go, it's a dread, but, gotta do it, before there's question arise on why haven't the exam vouchers been used. Kinda sad though that I did not put myself together, because the whole point of the MCSE thingy is to prove that I can do this... now, I am just another career women who tried to hard to be @ the same level as those men that just need and is "the expert". Bad for me to say this, then again it's the truth I have to swallow together with my old hard-ass pride crap. Urgh... Life is cruel (well, at least at some parts of it).

Spent the rest of the holidays with the precious family (what else is there?). Picked up Siti after back from Brunei, shopping our cash out in KL the next day. I'd say it's quite a way to fill the time other than worrying about the exam. Definitely worthy of the time which I have no controlled of what happened next, hopefully I manage to see both of my sisters' wedding before I die, amiinn.

Diana House

The crush was incomprehensible. A drug addict who is abstinent? A passionate doctor who is abrasive? Or the fact that he is a selfish human being who just didn’t know how to show his true feeling? An odd combination to be falling in love with you’d say. I always thought I am going to fall for the easy one. Then again, that’s me; keep falling for them who are rebellious, difficult and other credentials which is just unacceptable for a normal behavior. That’s him, Dr Gregory House, MD. - pic (Catch him every Tuesday on AXN at 10:00pm, Malaysian time)

Just when I keep saying I am through with this, I am again, lose in this battle of NOT get too involved with TV heroes/villains/or just the fact that he is one of the characters. I have got to learn to slow that TV thing in my routines. (How dare do I even let myself think that! That’s all I have left that I still have hope for!).

Dream on Babe, because Nothing else matters... Nothing else…

Do you think there is an existence of a similar human being like Dr House? Kindly introduce him to me. I’d appreciate it!
;-)

Broken... and Lonesome

I know I said I am done, but Rascal Flats brought me back into that path, and I sure hope these broken road I have walked on would somehow lead me to that specia place. What a song...

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken roadThat led me straight to you

Why do I feel so low?

Go Team Go!

Watched the finale of the amazing race:family edition yesterday. Let me tell you, some family LINZ is, they deserved to win. Wish I have brothers like that... wuhuu! Nick won!! wuhuu!!



So... what made a good team? does family bond played an important role? An interesting idea to ponder don't you think? Then again, how many friends do I have? Ironic huh? For me to conclude such thing?
Don't be deceived... I DO have friends... they just happened to be those cool wonderful people we could hardly meet. Honestly!

Year end closure.. or so I say

That's it, I am done with everything, done with going over the hills with old flame, done with going over cloud nine over conversation or what so ever with handsome men. Done with the "What if..." I have come to term of accepting that everybody deserved to be happy and for him or her to find it sooner it's just his or her calling for now. With this revelation to even become a breakthrough for me, and the fact it happened over the weekend where I've received the happy news of a very good friend is without doubt a miracle. Now, that's an accomplishment I'd say. Congratulations Miss Jones.

I have also being able to put an ease over my obsessions on things such as the NEED FOR WIN in any contest and among the ultimate is the Treasure hunting, towards wanting to be FIRST in everything (did I say put an ease to this, a few number ONE here and there would do no harm once in a while), into wanting to be RIGHT in everything and among others that need massive adjustment.

I am determined to find my own personal territory that will made me equally stands alongside people that will sided nobody, not their friend, best friends, close colleagues etc. And a sarcastically hurting remarks made by own colleagues will stayed in this little messed up brain of mine that I am forever hold as vengeance. Cruel, but certainly a release.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Hmm…

Love at first song

So i took a long days of-work... was it well spent, I'd say worthy of falling in love with Gavin Degraw few years too late to appreciate all his songs. If there is one artiste who can serenade me with the whole album these days, it would be Mr Gavin Degraw... And... Follow through... just take my breath away... Wish someone could sing/say this to me from the bottom of their heart some day:-

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive, they keep me in tune. Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire. This is for you...Am I too obvious to preach it? You're so hypnotic on my heart. So,since you want to be with me, you'll have to follow through, with every word you say. And I, all I really want is you. For you to stick around. I'll see you everyday. But you'll have to follow through. You have to follow through

after that? I will definitely follow through.. and if there's no one, Gavin can sing it to me anytime...
"Oh, this is the start of something good... Don't you agree?"
One day, one day...p/s: Is it me or is this blog has becoming a song review sites eh?

The pretender

Leave quite an impression due to last entry, unfortunately, it was just a dream, always are in this author's life. If it is not another dream in a making, it will be just another dull, ordinary day. Sorry to disappoint some people out there... This past few weeks, been keeping in touch with old friends, ex-schoolmates, etc, you know, due to holidays, visiting, bla bla bla. One sentence keep popping up that make me sick, "Love will come when you least expected... it will, you just hang in there" or something like that. Yeah, I'm hanging allright, but, aren't we supposed to also work for it? And just when you thought you had it, it will somehow manage to hurt you in a most unjust possible way. Yeah.. I have to stop looking and wondering and analyse everything. This is not a mission!

God! all this anger, and hatred, it's toxic! It made me weak, and lost...

What else should I pretend to be? Till when I should find a name that suits me well?

On another horizon:
Hurdlers' victory bring cheers to SEA gamesHurdlers Mohd Robani Hassan and Moh Siew Wei brought in the cheers on a gloomy day for Malaysia in Manila by sweeping to victory in the men's 110m and women's 100m hurdles event respectively.

And that has awarded us with 38 gold in the medals tally at second place behind Philipines.
Suddenly made me proud to be Malaysian. Wish I was one of the athletes... erk?!!!

Nice Weekend indeed...

Yeah, he did... he came to visit last weekend, what a short stop well spent, you know he being busy and on tour soon and all, might as well have a quick stop and spent some time with me. It was so darn fun, we watched the recorded of Rock Star:INXS and reminiscing his memories during the whole INSX frontman audition process. He's definitely deserved to win and I am proud to be known as one of his buddies. We went to the extreme, I coloured my hair blonde, you know, us being crazy and all... I missed him already. Thank God I have this picture to commemorate last weekend that could be the last one before he even made it here again (if he ever could). Love ya JD!

Writing for A Cause

Been looking for part time job all over the internet throughout the week. Looking specifically for any writing job I can contribute to. There is one reply, with the need for a resume (duh!!), I held back. Not that I hate the thought of submitting the CV, but the fact that I don't have anything certified as a known writer or at least a published material are... sad. All that I can offer is... passion. There's always the urge of actually attending one of those courses where you can get a certificate or something, but there is always the never-ending monetary issue. Some people might not understand how such issue can hold some dream back... well, it does. But there is no excuse now, I've got to do something, and to prove I can write out of passion is a commitment i must do and pursue.

writing away...