Bluish Sky

This whole week has been a battle of emotions for me, and despite I am feeling:

1. ...like a black sheep in the family,
2. ...like a lost puppy,
3. ...lonely like a freak high school kid,
4. ...unworthy of beling love,
5. ...intimidated,
6. ...tired,

I did lost another 0.5 kg. WooHoo!! And, that.. had just made my week.


p/s: I think I like these listing things out... will stick to it for more entries to come.

Wish List

I am publishing this wish list just in case someone noticed and will do something about it.

;-) hehehe

My Wish List by the end of the year of 2006:
1. SEIKO Watch
2. ZERO balance for all my credit cards
3. New pair of Jeans
4. New pair of suits
5. Get that chifon baju kurung I always wanted
6. Get a flower for my birthday
7. Achieve that goal weight
8. Enrol in Creative Writing Class by Sharon Bakar
9. Furnish all the rooms in the house.

nine wishes for now... save one more for the best one could ever wish for.

Points to ponder

"...A misyar marriage is contracted between a Muslim man and a Muslim woman of some means where the woman is aware of the man's impecunious circumstances and, in return for the marriage, foregoes her traditional right to expect the husband to provide for her upkeep...
The suggestion caused uproar among some Muslim men and women who considered such an arrangement to be demeaning because it made the man looks like an Islamic stud and the woman sex-hungry. But it was defended by the President of the Single Mothers' Association of Malaysia as a solution to the problem of women who only wanted the “protection” of a “mature and responsible” man. As the woman can provide for herself in every other respect, the husband's ability to feed and clothe her is unimportant. And such marriages have not been unknown – several women in her own family were married to men with lesser incomes.
I agree that Malays should utilize their time and energy on solving problems of academic, social and economic under-achievement. Leave misyar alone. It is not new, it has been practiced at least 1,400 years since the Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, married Khatijatul Kubra.
It is not necessarily about sex; that's why many Muslim women are still single. They want the right partner – mature and responsible who can be a good husband although not an ideal provider. Otherwise they would have married just about anyone. I know a number of Malay women who have had a number of suitors with anyone of whom they would have gladly set up house but their over-choosy parents had turned down these suitors and the daughters are too filial to disobey..."

I came across these comments made by Tun Hanif Omar in yesterday Star newspaper. He is totally right; Malaysians should be stopped in being brought to this kind of information to their mind. Do we need to worsen the statistics of divorces among Malays as it is now? Aren't there any more vital concerns that need our attention to be focused on for better future to young generations for future prosperity? Judging from this disappointment, it should be cleared hat this coming from a 'still single career woman" and I totally uncomfortable with the suggestions despite polygamy had been practiced since forever.

I hope men do not see this as another excuses to relieve those lusts that seems never enough, and women to not feel depreciated of being a woman… We deserve everything and anything better if not equal treatment. We do! God help us.

Hold up hold up...

Is it just me or is this blog has become a place to show off now? This is so not intended... Pardon me... I am just being so happy and determined to be different.. and some kinda loving feeling could be one of the factor... Could be... could be... or I might just be lost in my own territory... It's a good territory though... Some people may just won't allow to see me at ease.. darn those people...

Take a deep breath...

fuh...

Be at peace, be at peace...

I can sing!

you know what... I do believe I can sing... I just picked a wrong song to sing (as Simon would put it) I may not be Taylor Hicks who brilliantly made all song like his own... but I can definitely be Katherine McPhee... hehehe.. (masuk bakul angkat sendiri)

singing... o, o, o, o, o, o, o-o-o-o

Me being Fit

The recently frequent visit to the gymnasium (6 hours to be exact) had shed me off:

0.5 kg
300 kJ Calories

That is provided the machine is accurate though. I always have this insecure feeling of technology giving us the right information. But, this time, my skepticism has been overridden by my determination to achieve my goal weight… so; I am going to keep my dedication to this one thing if not for another bigger more important stuffs.

Pretty cool for a girl who is inactive in sports huh? The last time being healthily active was 10 years ago…that is quite a long period. It is about time I started to take care of my health again. Now that I am getting old and the probability having someone to take care of me when I am old; should I say pretty slim? So, got to prepare for the worse… or the better in this case.

Crazy little thing call Love

The decision I made on a certain things and the remark some people made when we do voice our hopes and dreams, "yeah, sure,.. but tak pernah la couple ngan budak pakai tudung" keep ringing in my head these days. That caused me to fall for guy who lived thousand miles away, yet for some reason show an interest by just knowing only how I look in pictures and how do I sounds like on the telephone. Is this really where the course of my love life lead me to.. to the neverending complicated story of my life... did i mention he is a Christian? Can it get more difficult than this?

p/s: then again... mungkin juga cinta aku hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan...*sigh*

May 06, the happenings and 'The Birthday'

This month can nearly be summed up as somewhat interesting... with a lot going on. There's vacation, the treasure hunt, the gymnasium occasional visit, signing up for yet another cupid services, attended a party I was usually find an excuse not to be included and lastly but not least, make mom happy almost everyday...

Pretty sweet for a very emotional girl like me and have for some reason had made me more resilience to actually let myself involved in a get-together activity. So I did went to last Saturday gathering, and there was a few awkward moments where I didn't understand anything they were talking about since i was the only one who were not in their previous activities... Still.. surprisingly I kept my optimism up and enjoy the rest of the day. Thanks Joji for sending me home back to Nilai.

Yesterday was ma's birthday, we planned a lot of things for that particular day, but since Adik is not at home, we decided to scale down... instead of that fancy restaurant down in KL, we celebrated at the humble pizza joint namedly Pizza Hut in a very secluded area in Bandar Baru Nilai. That is only after the plumber fixing our kitchen sink though. Then there's the time when mom have to open up the prizes... we spent quite a time tried to find a perfect gift... then it hit me... Mom always wanted to go places, visit Istanbul, Australia, basically... travel around the world. And, since we cannot afford that costly present for now, we bring the world to her instead. Pretty cool eh? Now i know where Hawaii is.. hahahahaha.. here's a glimpse of that thing we gave ma as her 54th Brithday present.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA... FOR MORE YEARS TO COME... WISH WE CAN LIVE AND DIE TOGETHER... LOVE YOU ALWAYS... MMMUAHSS....

Land below the wind

We went to Kota Kinabalu on the first weekend of May 2006. Supposedly that is our very debut for more family vacation to come in future. Insya Allah...

It was a worthy experience to share between us, my mom, my two sisters and me. Too bad dad got to miss this. The journey begins in LCCT, we had lunch at the airport first since the food on plane so darn expensive! But, we still do bought the airline food on the way back... for the sake of trying it... rather "Indah khabar dari rupa menu"...

We were staying in Le Meridien Kota Kinabalu, a very nice hotel indeed! The standard room with to twin bed definitely worth the money we were paying... the room was so spacious! We glad we didn't get two rooms for four occupants. And knowing my workaholic sister, the internet access is just like a match made in heaven for her. So, I'm glad everyone is happy... I know I am... o.. there is a DVD player with a Plasma TV in the room, so, we did bought a DVD to kill time by watching it at night.

Tried hard to fully occupy the precious three full days, we manage to fill the first day by visiting all the landmarks there are exist in KK. There is Signal Hill to watch over town from atop of the hill, then we went to Bangunan Yayasan Sabah, the most unique building in Sabah.

Then we went to Museum which is boring but as long the others enjoying it. Then at the close vicinity, we were introduced with all houses representing differents ethnics in Sabah, in the Kampung Wawasan. We went ahead to go take a look at the oldest railway station in KK, the North Borneo Railways, too bad we cannot enjoy the ride. The station and train was very old school, like it very much. Last but not least before we had nice dinner by the waterfront, we take a one or two shots in the rain by the beach of Tanjung Aru. Kak Rohana really went a distance to bring us to all those places... we will always be grateful for that.

With Mr Simon the next day, we actually got to visit the famous highest mountain, Kota Kinabalu. Well, at least at the lowest part of it although it will be cool if we can at least be at the nearest to the mountain top, touching the cloud. Now, that will be awesome eh?!! It is also such a shame that we didn't get to go island hopping. Some other time maybe, we will have that adventurous holiday instead, moutain climbing, scuba diving (Yeah right?) etc etc etc...

In the end.. It was indeed a worthy exprience worth remembered for a very long time.

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After all that?... the debt is piling up like crazy... And I still couldn't figure out how can i get extra income to reduce the burden and then organize more vacations. I guess I do, do things without thinking carefully... I really am in need of an accountant... Anyone can do it for free? hehehe.. at least for now... will pay later when the money tree grows. Yeah right.. another wishful thinking... Well, doing the things that I did and will, all due to make mommy happy. And, when she's happy, I can rest in peace...err.. hypothetically speaking...

me? singing idol? possibly, maybe,... NOT

I hurt my jaw last night... it started off right after Maghrib prayer, it went all numb and made me want to cry everytime i touch it. Didn't want to pop any pain killer, i let the pain alleviate itself while watching the amazing race finale! (reality does hurt... heh) The sore came up right after I was trying to hear how my voice sounds like in recording (using my hp i.e.). I was belting out Awan Yang Terpilu by Ning Baizura! It's all due to the American-Idol-like thingy going to be held in our office. The result? I would predict Simon Cowell would have said "it's completely and utterly a disaster". I never thought I might hated hearing my own voice through a device. All these while to wait for the right moment to do that 'thing-to-do list of mine' turns out it is just an embarrassment waiting to be displayed! (singing in public i.e.) And.. worst, all these while my mom said my voice is good was due to not hurting my feelings...*sigh* So much for sending that demo tape now... forget about it!

Jeez.. what was I thinking?

p/s: I still think I could do a voice over though.. hehehe