Crazy little thing call Love

The decision I made on a certain things and the remark some people made when we do voice our hopes and dreams, "yeah, sure,.. but tak pernah la couple ngan budak pakai tudung" keep ringing in my head these days. That caused me to fall for guy who lived thousand miles away, yet for some reason show an interest by just knowing only how I look in pictures and how do I sounds like on the telephone. Is this really where the course of my love life lead me to.. to the neverending complicated story of my life... did i mention he is a Christian? Can it get more difficult than this?

p/s: then again... mungkin juga cinta aku hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan...*sigh*

May 06, the happenings and 'The Birthday'

This month can nearly be summed up as somewhat interesting... with a lot going on. There's vacation, the treasure hunt, the gymnasium occasional visit, signing up for yet another cupid services, attended a party I was usually find an excuse not to be included and lastly but not least, make mom happy almost everyday...

Pretty sweet for a very emotional girl like me and have for some reason had made me more resilience to actually let myself involved in a get-together activity. So I did went to last Saturday gathering, and there was a few awkward moments where I didn't understand anything they were talking about since i was the only one who were not in their previous activities... Still.. surprisingly I kept my optimism up and enjoy the rest of the day. Thanks Joji for sending me home back to Nilai.

Yesterday was ma's birthday, we planned a lot of things for that particular day, but since Adik is not at home, we decided to scale down... instead of that fancy restaurant down in KL, we celebrated at the humble pizza joint namedly Pizza Hut in a very secluded area in Bandar Baru Nilai. That is only after the plumber fixing our kitchen sink though. Then there's the time when mom have to open up the prizes... we spent quite a time tried to find a perfect gift... then it hit me... Mom always wanted to go places, visit Istanbul, Australia, basically... travel around the world. And, since we cannot afford that costly present for now, we bring the world to her instead. Pretty cool eh? Now i know where Hawaii is.. hahahahaha.. here's a glimpse of that thing we gave ma as her 54th Brithday present.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA... FOR MORE YEARS TO COME... WISH WE CAN LIVE AND DIE TOGETHER... LOVE YOU ALWAYS... MMMUAHSS....

Land below the wind

We went to Kota Kinabalu on the first weekend of May 2006. Supposedly that is our very debut for more family vacation to come in future. Insya Allah...

It was a worthy experience to share between us, my mom, my two sisters and me. Too bad dad got to miss this. The journey begins in LCCT, we had lunch at the airport first since the food on plane so darn expensive! But, we still do bought the airline food on the way back... for the sake of trying it... rather "Indah khabar dari rupa menu"...

We were staying in Le Meridien Kota Kinabalu, a very nice hotel indeed! The standard room with to twin bed definitely worth the money we were paying... the room was so spacious! We glad we didn't get two rooms for four occupants. And knowing my workaholic sister, the internet access is just like a match made in heaven for her. So, I'm glad everyone is happy... I know I am... o.. there is a DVD player with a Plasma TV in the room, so, we did bought a DVD to kill time by watching it at night.

Tried hard to fully occupy the precious three full days, we manage to fill the first day by visiting all the landmarks there are exist in KK. There is Signal Hill to watch over town from atop of the hill, then we went to Bangunan Yayasan Sabah, the most unique building in Sabah.

Then we went to Museum which is boring but as long the others enjoying it. Then at the close vicinity, we were introduced with all houses representing differents ethnics in Sabah, in the Kampung Wawasan. We went ahead to go take a look at the oldest railway station in KK, the North Borneo Railways, too bad we cannot enjoy the ride. The station and train was very old school, like it very much. Last but not least before we had nice dinner by the waterfront, we take a one or two shots in the rain by the beach of Tanjung Aru. Kak Rohana really went a distance to bring us to all those places... we will always be grateful for that.

With Mr Simon the next day, we actually got to visit the famous highest mountain, Kota Kinabalu. Well, at least at the lowest part of it although it will be cool if we can at least be at the nearest to the mountain top, touching the cloud. Now, that will be awesome eh?!! It is also such a shame that we didn't get to go island hopping. Some other time maybe, we will have that adventurous holiday instead, moutain climbing, scuba diving (Yeah right?) etc etc etc...

In the end.. It was indeed a worthy exprience worth remembered for a very long time.

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After all that?... the debt is piling up like crazy... And I still couldn't figure out how can i get extra income to reduce the burden and then organize more vacations. I guess I do, do things without thinking carefully... I really am in need of an accountant... Anyone can do it for free? hehehe.. at least for now... will pay later when the money tree grows. Yeah right.. another wishful thinking... Well, doing the things that I did and will, all due to make mommy happy. And, when she's happy, I can rest in peace...err.. hypothetically speaking...

me? singing idol? possibly, maybe,... NOT

I hurt my jaw last night... it started off right after Maghrib prayer, it went all numb and made me want to cry everytime i touch it. Didn't want to pop any pain killer, i let the pain alleviate itself while watching the amazing race finale! (reality does hurt... heh) The sore came up right after I was trying to hear how my voice sounds like in recording (using my hp i.e.). I was belting out Awan Yang Terpilu by Ning Baizura! It's all due to the American-Idol-like thingy going to be held in our office. The result? I would predict Simon Cowell would have said "it's completely and utterly a disaster". I never thought I might hated hearing my own voice through a device. All these while to wait for the right moment to do that 'thing-to-do list of mine' turns out it is just an embarrassment waiting to be displayed! (singing in public i.e.) And.. worst, all these while my mom said my voice is good was due to not hurting my feelings...*sigh* So much for sending that demo tape now... forget about it!

Jeez.. what was I thinking?

p/s: I still think I could do a voice over though.. hehehe

The Code

I am now deep into Robert Langdon's world... kinda prepared before the big screen. Not much time, so have to hurry. Has that been said, please take note (should you are the frequent reader…) this blog will be abandoned for a while, until the code is broken.

MY EGO PLAN IS IN ANGOLA

Later…

Weirdly flattered

The weirdest thing happened to me last Friday, okay, maybe not weird to some people, but definitely a first for me. It was while I am driving to another work place of mine down in PJ. Right at the Pantai traffic junction, when the light is red, I was doing my stuff, stretching, looking at right and left, glancing towards another car... then suddenly this man driving a Honda next to me take notice and wanted more attention from me. Thinking that is nothing, I drove away the minute the light turned green. Suddenly I was taken by surprise when I looked at the rearview mirror, he followed me! He kept flashing his high beam light asking me to stop at the side of the road, thinking… ”Did I hit him or something?” and he won’t take no for an answer, I was terrified, dunno what to do and stopping at the side of the Federal Highway is not an option… so I kept on going and since he is still following, I finally stopped very near to my office building. And he did too! He went out of his car, I rolled the window down decided not to go out too, cause it could lead to more terrible things if I am unlucky… “God Forbid!” Seeing he’s walking towards me… “Here we go… who is this guy, what could have he wants from me?” God knows lots of things played on my minda at that very moment. Then there he is… at my window:

Me: “Yes?” (what is it?)
Unknown guy: “Hi, I nak kenal la”
Me: (What?! Huh!) with a very confused face
Unknown guy gave me his card: “you ada handphone no”
Me: “oo… hmm, nanti I call you kay?”
Unknown guy: “ok, nama you siapa”
Me: “hmm… Diana, hmm.. okaylah, later, I gotta go”
Unknown guy: “okay, nice to meet ya..”
Me: smile insincerely and drove way.

What? All that scares and just for the sake of getting to know me? Is that what people do these days…? The world is definitely getting creepy, and finding a normal one special kind of love now is just getting more complicated.

*Sigh*

Looking back at that daunting incident, I was slightly flattered though… someone’s actually notice… in a very bizarre way… a very eerie way indeed. What a day it was…

Sleeping partner

This is my sleeping buddy at night... introducing the 'red devil'... no.. not because of my love of football, simply because it is my cute little red devil...

Playing the Game...Right

My self-esteem has never been high due to last week event that gave me some level of confidence I thought I lost it (strange but true). The event somehow thought as another new beginning for more good things to follow after. I know of it… well, I hope it does. There’s a thing about confidence that makes you want to do so much at one go. You were like pumped up to be associated with lots of stuffs even with one that you thought impossible before. And when people actually take notice of you, it inspires you to ensure you will excel in everything that you do or at least give back some faith when it is nearly forgotten. But, it kinda depressing when at the end of the day, you found yourself made a few silly mistakes and wish you could do better, and worst when there’s those looks people make that made you feel guilty of the seven deadly sins, or at least one of them. Then again, that’s a circle of life kan?

Met a friend for coffee yesterday, initially to discuss about some work transaction that I am not exactly the expert although I am working there. Come to think about it, I do not know most of the important stuff about my organization. That’s not a good consciousness. Hmm… coming back to the meeting, the funny thing about is it I actually keep hoping since the first time we met, “…that he must be single…” although one can actually make a quick deduction that he is not when one take a good look at him. And when such thought kept playing in your mind, you have this undefined feeling every time he contacted you although all the signs was there that this is not what I am suppose to hope for anything at all. Thank God for the positiveness I am trying to work at, I am playing the game anybody would like to initiate, be it not at my territory at all and the result of that game as of now I’d say a win-win. We’ll see what happened in the next round or perhaps another match with another opponent another time. Who wants to play?

Read one article last time about things to do before you die, among them are “befriend with someone at least fifteen years older than you..”. How’s 48 with a lot I can learn from? well, if the lessons are worthy of learning ;-) I think I can strike that one in the ‘to-do list before you die’ eh?

I'm sooo tired...

How tiresome made you think of so many things at the same time...

"... my back is killing me ...this bladder problem is giving me the creep. Is it because of the heavy lifting ...?" (thank God, the massage really helps... thanks bibik)

"... God, how do we get to keep all these junks all these years?..." (still keeping it though)

"... (on last week episode of CSI), Nick is so not cute with moustache..."

"I wonder how many mails I have since the last time I accessing the Internet due to my leave of absence from work for a WEEK!..."(wondering if I still have friends who cared)

"... How do I get an extra income to cover back all this expenses of moving into this new home of ours..... plan plan plan... creative writing class by June, started writing seriously in September... got accepted by January, got a first royalties by March..." (a high hopes right here, yet not doing anything about it)

"What was I thinking buying a handphone not to my standard, at least not now..." (nevertheless, like my new gadget very much)

"...I just found out that Jon Bon Jovi married his Highschool sweetheart... and still is" (wish I had the same luck)

"I wish a lot of things...." and today...

Having a wealthy dad or husband surely is a blessing if my intention is to be like Oprah, Bon Jovi, Angelina Jolie. etc etc etc... you know, giving back to humanity. Not being able to let myself to think of others by donating monetary values for the moment as we were living scraping by, made me hated myself sometimes. Then again, those unfortunates will have a piece of my heart and mind in all my prayers... Insya Allah.

How tiresome made us remember how small we are and bring us closer to God... Thank heaven I am still sane... I'm just soooo tired.. I could barely bring myself to do my job... now.. at this moment...

*sigh*

what is it with me...?

On the way back from kemas2 at our new home, while driving with my mommy, was listening to the Fly FM for the mash for cash thingy, still didn't get it though, and while on it,we were listening to Weezer's Perfect situation over and over again in one day.. then, at the fifth time it aired on Fly, I started to pay attention to Rivers Cuomo's voice and suddenly I am sucked into the sound like I never heard it before... he do have a deep, different and a haunting voice for a nerdy looking rock star... (kinda what I had in mind for a partner.... at least if tall dark and handsome is nowhere to be found.. hehehe).

The lyrics are another different story... he's a pretty sight i won't mind lingering in my brain for the next few days... and suddenly I am ."..singing.. ooOO.. ooOO.. ooOO.. OOOOO singing, oo..oo...."