probably just me

It's D-Day in D-Month again...

2011-10-17T08:25:00.003+08:00

How time flies, and how I almost ignoring this link. People say we only blog when we sad but I beg to differ. This blog may be abandoned but it was never forgotten, it's just my way of limiting my blabs on my personal life to the world. Once in a while it's good to share and perhaps if there's envy; I never intended to, if there's a lessons learned, hope it will become a guidance and if it's an empathy, hope you remember me with all the good deeds. Insya Allah...

It's my second birthday celebrated with husband, he managed to pamper me with flowers and good time again.

Felt Bad when he had to go the distance to make me happy, but at least he tried and I am thankful for all the ups and downs on one year living together and a period of getting to know each other spent very well without a baby just yet. I guess God really does work in a mysterious way. Despite the worrisome of my age and not pregnant yet, things must happened for reasons. Hikmah they say. And I am not giving up on that just yet.

I dreamed reading Quran last night... and it may means --> Alamat anda akan beroleh kebesaran dan barokah atau kesihatan anda dimurahi. Insya Allah...

The Perfect Housewife.

2010-11-22T09:47:00.001+08:00

Remember when you were in love? Accepting others traits and appearance is the noblest thing to do. And if you were to decide to bail out after maybe few unaccepted discoveries, you will deem shallow. Therefore the next best thing to do is, suck it up and agreeing, that we are, indeed not perfect ourselves. Then comes marriage, the biggest thing learned is; BOYS WILL BE BOYS, GIRLS NEED TO GROW UP and become a WOMAN. Sounds unfair? That is life.

So, what is the perfect housewife really? I learn it the hard way and at the earliest (and perhaps I shall be thankful for that) of what do Men really want in a housewife. And to get that fact supported our own mother; even more terrifying! Be it EITHER you have a hot body like GABRIELLE SOLIS, or you are smart and supportive like LYNETTE SCAVO or a true lady like BREE VAN DE KAMP, truth is, you need to have ALL THAT Traits to become an Ideal Housewife. Otherwise, be prepared for worst to come.

What next? Well, to me, since I have waited all my life to be married, as much as I hated cooking and ironing, being an orthodox myself, suck it up is indeed what I intent to do. Learn to be the best in every single thing we do in life, we do not need one too many critics in our life, trust me; you will be crying endlessly. To avoid them is to learn and show them that you care enough to care for others.

To begin with though, love yourself dearly before you can move that affection to others. Like they say it in the Plane safety brochure, “Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.” They didn’t stress that enough for nothing. ;-)

EAT PRAY LOVE

2010-10-28T11:11:00.002+08:00

So what if I just want to only Eat, Pray and be in Love? Who's with me? And after these long silence... new chapter in life finally made thinking LONG and HARD. Why? beats me. Wish again I have all the answers. Wish those lights that have been shed on me is enlightened me on all the right subject matters.

Or was I only trying to focus on what I want things to be and work? I have been selfish all along? Or was I playing along with them. These crossing of thoughts is killing me!

Changes...

2010-06-24T13:22:00.003+08:00

I'm sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I've got some habits
Even I can't explain
Go to the corner
I end up in Spain
Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
Go away weekends
Leave my keys in the door
Why try to change me now

Why can't I be more conventional
People talk
And they stare
So I try
But can't be
Cuz I can't see
My strange little world
Just go passing me by

So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know I'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now

Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

IndulgeHere

Where have Diana Jones gone?

2010-06-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

What am I really? Thought I am a collector, yet I do not have full collections. Thought I am a movie addict but I seldom go to the movie theatres. Always saw myself a music enthusiast, yet I only enjoy a certain songs from a certain artists or certain moments 'em really caught my ears. Thought I love to read, yet I just buy books and hardly have time to read. Keep telling people I love RED too much, yet only few REDS I own in the wardrobe. Really believed am into fashion, but always came out bland...and the list didn't stop there.

I do know I really busy with work. Turns out my hectic professional life only gets me to be deemed as 'not-knowledgeable' by fellow peers. It tears me down badly to know colleagues hate my guts and selling how I do not deserved whatever I got in extra just because I cannot concentrate on ONE thing when I have to settle everything.

So, how will it reflects to whatever decisions I made in my everyday routines? Will they continue to see me as a hypocrite? Or I am still just plain lost? Wish I have answers to all things that are in my mind. Wish I stop cried over my life.

In the meantime.... Wish at least some-ONE dreams a little dream of me...

Dalam Hati Ada Taman

2010-05-03T22:57:00.004+08:00

merisik-risik...

and marked...

and now... anxiously waiting for the big day...

Love Story ~ Cinta tak salah...

2009-12-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

It’s hard ya? When they say if you are in a relationship of what they called abnormal? Age wise, experience wise or emotionally challenge. How’s thing so far? It is being handled pretty gracefully (or so I thought). And am I glad when all things worked out for the better, when one finally understood the priority, the right DECISION needed to be made during tumultuous time. And at this moment...; I am certain, I have made the right choice.... So help me God!

Gita Gutawa ~ Selamat Datang Cinta
"denganmu sepiku kan berganti,
berganti keindahan
yang belum pernah kurasa
kamu gelora di jiwaku
taklukan keraguan
dan ketakutan hatiku
selamat datang cinta di hatiku
ku sebut hadirmu
berikan aku cinta rahasia kehidupan
tanpa engkau cinta aku butakau cahaya hati
cinta tak pernah salah dalam memilih"

Snap III

2009-12-14T19:22:00.002+08:00

Just like any other afternoon, watching TV with my mother, the show on tele "Jangan Lupa Lirik!". And while I am in the game like the contestant, singing along to the song to figure out the lyrics, mom said " Suara adik lagi sedap dari suara kau la Na..."... waahhh! kecik hati weih.

hehehehe.

I hate...

2009-11-22T14:28:00.001+08:00

I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown.
I think of you ev'ry night and day.
You took my heart, then you took my pride away.
Can't break free from the the things that you do.
that's why I hate myself for loving you...

Love Story ~ Bila hanya Hati Bersuara

2009-11-05T19:56:00.001+08:00

What is another cliché in the Lovey-Dovey lane? When there is more silence than conversation made while together, one will be deemed boring; be it either party can be blamed. But what if, silence is all we need to hear heart said out “I love you” very loud indeed inside? I’d say I can’t complaint. My heart never beats this fast that wasn’t accompanied by a short breath when your stamina failed on you. But it beats with good sound of rhythm that only me and perhaps only us listens.

Check point: While there is complication, I am still happy.

Love Story ~ Crazy Act # 2

2009-10-21T20:54:00.001+08:00

Like any other day, being away and all, calls are the closest any lovebird can feel the other without having trying too hard. And JUST like any other day since these cloudy nine feeling beneath my feet floating me around, I received his call on the way back home.

:“dah naik train? Ni dah kat mana?”
:“KL sentral, kamu di mana nih?”
:“kat jalan sg besi, Jam.. kenapa eh?”
: “entah… “ and etc etc etc

Call ended, and I am back sleeping, enjoying the ride. Another call came in…

:“still jam la, boring.. dah kat mana ni?”
:“baru.. err… mana ni?... kajang.”
:“pukul berapa sampai?”
:“err.. setengah jam lagi kot”
:“ok… hati2….”

With that I am back to napping again… until finally reached the destination. Validate the ticket, walk towards my car as usual without bothering of what’s happening around, I didn’t even notice a commotion at the far end of the parking lot until someone pointing it out later. Unlock the door, get into the car, started my engine, and, as I about to shut the door, there’s a knock on my window… and there he was… the sweet face that keep bugging my mind night and day. He was there all the while he called earlier. He waited for me for an hour. And I didn’t even notice his car? Isk… After few minutes “what are you doing? What?” and speechless for a second, then only he suggested to go for a drink, and so we went off for a drink before I finally back home.

Once again my friend, this might also happened to you too many times, this is another FIRST for me. I appreciated the gesture far off until me totally overrating it. Some people told me that what he had done is scary, I’d say; I love him more for that…. And again I never stopped smiling…Crazy I know. But I love it! I love him (wow, did I just say Love 3 times?)

Love Story ~ Crazy Act # 1

2009-10-21T12:28:00.002+08:00

There’s an old saying of “orang, kalau dah bercinta, nampak bumbung rumah pun cukup”. As cliché as it sounds these sayings have become something to laugh about whenever to tease those in love. And then there’s another when, you know if the guy call and said “cuba tengok kat balkoni” and these days girls usually not totally believing guys would actually do that (that they were actually out there wanted to see you as a result of missing you so much). These days being the post 21st century where supposedly fairytale and fantasy should be left as it is.

And on one fine night, DJ happened to decide to go to bed earlier, the guy call as usual and weird of the idea me sleeping early. Since he’s still driving outside, she decided to wait a little bit longer before she finally closes her eyes. While tidying up a bit stretches up the bed sheet, the call came in. “… cuba kamu tengok kat Balkoni…” She just laugh while thinking “yeah right?”, and yet still walk towards the window, looking outside and to her surprise, there it was; a familiar car parked in front of the house. He really is outside, at 12 midnight. So, the driving earlier was towards here? She went out to the balcony, and the talk on the phone continued for the next fifteen minutes and as speechless as anyone can be, she managed to just laugh through the whole conversation digesting the event that just happened.

This particular event may have happened to you too many times; but this is definitely the FIRST for me. If there is a serenade followed after would be a more dramatic episode to remember eh? ;-)Tell me honestly how would you feel if you were in my place? And as for me, the smiling never stopped until the next day.

Love Story ~ D-day 2009

2009-10-18T21:35:00.003+08:00

Between Cake, flowers and Sunset... D-Day never been this perfect... Thanks Darling....

p/s: Thanks for all the other gifts and thoughts from beloved friends...appreciate it much.

Love Story ~ Monologue

2009-10-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

How do you convinced one is The One? When you constantly thinking about him and it distract your concentration? When you realized you cannot live for 12 hours not hearing his voice or receive his text or read his email? When one has to rebel to prove it’s the absolute choice?

So they say Love drives you crazy, it really does and I’d never thought I will have the chance to live the moment again. Although they are still uncertainty as any love story always have been, a dramatic experience of professing one’s true emotions is something I think any play worth being staged for. And I am planning to shout all the right scripts to the other ends, while at it, I may annoys the spectators or I might just as well gets a standing ovation. One thing for sure, I think I am on a right track of the trailer…

A Hopeless Romantic after all..

2009-09-25T21:15:00.002+08:00

Mom said Love is blind. Others said seek and you shall find. For years we search, endure and broken, funny how it only took a week to found the one. And one might add “so you’d say”, but is it really true? Love that you seek was just few meters away all along? How poetic little words sounded so comforting that you take every word of it and seal it closely to heart? Is this how finally Diana Jones is tamed? With such beautifully craved lyrical speech fed into her heart and mind so spontaneous, it seems so genuine and truthfully from the heart. So, she is loved, she is actually contented, for she played it along in a beautiful little world she longed and finally lives on. The feeling was great and she never been happier. Despite; she does hope she is not hurting other important human beings while she felt for the significant other of the heart matter.

Reminiscing Moko – October 2008

2009-08-24T21:29:00.004+08:00

"Adegan kayak gini paling sering ada di
film-film, seorang cowok ngasih jaketnya ke sang cewek untuk dipakai. Lambang
pelindung, superrioritas, dan ke-essential-an laki-laki yang lebih tegar dari
wanita, sekaligus lambang kelmebutan wanita yang akan selalu memancarkan
aura-aura dengan keindahan tak terhingga yang harus laki-laki jaga dan lindungi.
Setiap nonton adegan seperti ini, dulu gue sering banget mencoba meraba-raba
mengartikannya. Tapi sekarang gue ngerasain sendiri... rasanya lain
banget."

That I borrowed from the words of Indy written by Donny Dhirgantoro in his book 5cm. Kangen si jadinya... ah, what a memory.

p/s: Loh, koq puasa-puasa mikirin ini?

Perempuan Berkalung Sorban... itu Aku

2009-08-22T23:10:00.004+08:00

Lek Khudori quoting to strong Muslimah:

“Aku tidak butuh laki-laki untuk tempat bergantung, tapi aku butuh laki-laki
untuk aku cintai” kata Ontosoroh

Anissa concluded:

"Kalian semua adalah calon muslimah, calon istri untuk suami kalian tercinta,
dan calon ibu untuk anak-anak yang kalian sayangi. Surga menurut janji Alloh,
ada di bawah telapak kaki kita, perempuan. Tapi jangan lupa satu hal bahwa Alloh juga memberikan manusia kebebasan. Mau jadi apapun kalian nanti, pilihlah jalan
Alloh dengan rasa bebas dan dengan hati yang ikhlas. Dengan begitu insya’Alloh
kita akan hidup dengan tenang dan tanpa rasa benci.”

While Me:
Di saat tangisan sebagai hamba yang lemah didengari Allah, aku semakin sayangkan Ramadhan, aku mau banyakkan amal... supaya nanti aku tetap berjumpa sama Lek Khudori aku, walau untuk sementara, walau aku harus tunggu hingga akhir usia. Aku tau Allah akan sentiasa menemani aku di saat aku lupa dan terlalu occupied dengan masalah dunia. Aku tidak akan mengalah dengan tarikan amarah... Insya Allah...

Ketika Cinta - CT (dengar)

Ana...

2009-08-19T08:45:00.002+08:00

"Dan kini aku malu dengan kenyataan ku sendiri..."

Depends on who's waiting for you on the other side.

2009-08-01T22:38:00.002+08:00

Again, I have been in that major depression episode. In my heart that is; because as I recall, I managed to function at my 90% best in the workplace. What would that make me? Yes, that means I am still a reliable worker indeed. Yet, I am not a stronger woman inside; as on one particular very tiring working day in a very cold place seeing me Losing it; brought me to crying uncontrollably in the car while driving back home. Not only that alone is a major hazard, me constantly wiping those tears that managed to flow non-stop made the ride even more daunting. Nevertheless, God still loves me, I manage to steer through the night and safely reach the crib. Why was I such a mess? While it may not be so clear to me on the exact reason, I still believe it had to do with me failing to let what heart matters flow like a river as I had been persistently promised myself. Funny too, after all these years, accepting the way the family has always been, I kept questioning on why I felt like a failure whenever I am around them and myself. Why I will never be worthy for somebody else to love me and keep me for the rest of my life. This fear of commitment is crazy as I realize I will never be brave enough to cross that road. How I long for those moment, and I quote what Norah Jones (in her My Blueberry Night) said, “It wasn't so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who's waiting for you on the other side”. Do you see anyone?

Narcissism on Display

2009-07-25T22:23:00.003+08:00

and more, here from one of the best photographer I have the privilege to know personally...

p/s: indulge... hehehehe

Episode 1

2009-06-22T21:01:00.001+08:00

“ Kadang aku cemburukan Anissa dengan Lek Kudori nya. Lek
belajar sampai ke Universiti Al-Azhar, Lek hormat Anissa sebagai seorang wanita,
Lek tolong goreng tempe bila Anissa masak sayur, Lek kemas meja bila Anissa
senduk nasi, Lek benarkan Anissa menggapai cita-cita dengan sokongan padu. Aku tau 'Too
good to be true' tapi aku tetap yakin masih wujud manusia seperti Lek dalam dunia
yang dalam penuh kebingungan indentiti ini kan? Langsung aku teringat kepada
Bang Ridzuan, namanya mirip Malaikat yang menjaga Syurga, wajahnya yang jernih
dan bersih menenangkan sesiapa yang melihatnya; umur aku 11 tahun ketika aku
bertemu dengannya. Bicaranya halus, sangat menghormati wanita tidak mengira
usia. Untuk seketika aku merasa bahagia saat itu, saat di mana ada lelaki dalam
linkungan perkumpulan manusia yang sudi berbicara sama aku, tentang apa yang
baik dan apa yang buruk, tentang betapa pandainya aku bersekolah. Aku terus
berharap untuk berjumpa Bang Ridzuan lagi suatu hari nanti. Bang Ridzuan pergi
ke Jordan, menuntut ilmu Agama di bumi para Anbia tetapi Bang Ridzuan tidak
kembali. Dia tewas kerana barah, ternyata Allah memang sayangkan orang yang
baik-baik dan lansung dia dipanggil semula ke sana mengadapNya. Aku
benar-benar merasa kehilangan…

Mungkin benar kenyataan adik bila dia kata ‘mungkin
jodohmu sudah tiada kak, sudah mati' Lansung aku segera
teringat pada Abang Ridzuan. Dialah Lek Kudori ku… dia mungkin seorang yang
dapat melindungi aku, dapat membawa aku ke jalan yang benar dan dapat
membahagiakan aku. Aku menghela nafas panjang yang agak kuat hingga kata ‘sayang
sekali’ keluar dari mulutku sendiri, sampai semua memandang ke arah aku; saat
aku melayang jauh di balik bangunan-bangunan tinggi Kuala Lumpur di meja makan
Starbucks, ketika aku menunggu seeorang yang tak kunjung tiba. Keadaan yang
sedikit aib itu mengingatkan aku, sememangnya aku tidak harus ditinggalkan
sendirian! Langsung aku marah pada teman yang sering tidak pernah tepat waktu.
Menanti memang menyeksakan!”

Prologue

2009-06-20T15:44:00.002+08:00

“Aku belum sempurna sebagai tunggak semenjak kepala keluarga
bernama ayah pergi, walau pada firasatku, telah ku cuba sebaiknya. Sebaliknya,
aku menarik kedua adikku sama berkorban, sama berhempas pulas membantu
membahagiakan Ibu di saat mereka sudah punya kehidupan sendiri yang perlu
dipertimbangkan. Kerana dalam menjalani hidup bersama Ibu seterusnya, tiada yang
lebih penting selain membiarkannya sentiasa bahagia tanpa seorang suami. Satu
sahaja yang ku mahu sekarang ini, supaya perkahwinan boleh membebaskan mereka
dari tanggungjawab 100% terhadap Ibu. Yang satu telah menjalani kehidupan
berumahtangga, tetapi aku masih belum berhenti memohon bantuannya setiap kali
aku kesempitan. Aku malu yang tidak terhingga sampai saat ini. Apa agaknya lagi
harus kulakukan untuk mengubah takdir mereka. Seorang lagi ku harap boleh ke
jinjang pelamin secepat mungkin, supaya dia dapat pergi jauh, bahagia bersama
keluarga sendiri. Walaupun rumah Ibu pasti sunyi tanpa mereka, tapi aku pasti
satu beban di bahu mereka akan terlucut sebaik mereka tidak harus tinggal bersama
di rumah ini; tiada kata rayuan aku di saat aku buntu dalam membuat keputusan,
tiada lagi kata sinisku di saat aku begitu marah kerana tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa.
Dengan tiadanya mereka, aku pasti terpaksa berdikari, demi harapan ke atas senyuman
seorang Ibu setiap saat di mana hanya kami berdua tinggal di casa ini. Hanya
satu ku pinta ya Allah, semoga dengan segera aku dapat lepaskan bebanan keluarga dari
adik-adikku supaya mereka bebas hidup bahagia dengan keluarga masing-masing.
Kakak minta maaf jika tanggungjawab membataskan kebahagiaan kamu semua.”

Snap II

2009-05-24T10:03:00.004+08:00

Ok, my bloated tummy did it again. Was embarrassed number of times by occassional gestures to give me seats in trains and buses number of times before, and yet I let them go as I, myself have made that miscalculative judgement to fellow peers (women-with-the-same-problem-as-mine) sometimes. Just when I tried to recover from the snappiest remarks made by Nenek Siti, I was slapped again in the face yesterday! While shopping for tailoring stuff with mom and Siti, and usually that took forever... this shoplady had some nerve! She actually touch my stomach and said, "pregnant ke kak?". That explains how she kept looking at me throughout the whole shopping process, and since my shocked self snap back , "isk, taklah", she didn't continue to ask, "...berapa bulan?" geez....(at least I thought so she about to do that) Maybe she couldn't hold it any longer and she had to ask. That; mt friend, gave me another wake-up call for ditching the gym last week when I promised to go. (I was so busy man, don't have time to stop by at the gym... the gym bag is still on my sofa, swear!) Anyways, since it bugged me the whole day and night, I did my cardio, and I am just gonna do it because it just made me feel good not because of that remarks and tried to prove something. Liar! I have to change those stares and comments, I have to work hard! dang it! One after another... These few weeks has been so humiliating!

p/s: The Biggest Loser gain back weight? scary, scary... we're human after all...

Snap!

2009-05-17T18:21:00.003+08:00

My mother's worry about my weight and looks are always unbearable to hear, especially when she kept reminiscing of how slim she was when she were my age. And kept babble how no one will want me if I am not working hard myself to ensure that I have a perfect body for my height and at the critical age that I am in now. And as usual, I just let it in one ear and out to another. Her concerns led to a session where I was forced to be checked by Nenek Siti of what's going on with my bloated tummy, when it was her session really, where she needed a massage after her fell recently. For the sake of indulging her distress, i gave in, Nenek Siti gave me a round of full body massage, and like a bomb exploded in front of my face, she just drop the worst remarks of the year;

".. takdo apo lah ni, ekau ni gomuk yo sebona eh..."

Wow! Just like that! In my face! Finally someone said it out loud eh? And what does this means? Time to go back to the gym! I am going back to Indonesia next month anyway, so, the need to be as equal as all those petite little women in the neighbouring country is fatal to score some ganteng Indonesian lad. So I had to work hard now; 2 weeks of healthy regime here I go...

p/s: padanla dengan muko ekau... The Biggest Loser competition anyone?

Silent Treatment

2009-05-11T22:23:00.006+08:00

What is the best the remedy for a broken-hearted, deeply-stirred emotional mother? One may say, just play along with her emotions; the other might suggest a total silent or no-action taken to tackle the situation. After 32 years of doing the former, I tend to moving into the latter direction these days. It is not a productive measures I know, but when you feel like you alone working hard in inducing a healthy relationship in your own home, it's got tired. Well aware of the imperfection being that I am, I wasn't trying to provoke things up, I just needed somebody else seeing what I am looking and feeling everyday. Don't get me wrong, I love my blood relatives, we beat as one, we felt each other's pain, we just refuse to acknowledge it sometimes and just let is slide until it tears everyone inside; it Kills me softly...

Weird though when the same situation happened to friends and foes. Been feeling like I am pulling extra effort and squeezing additional-more-than-I-own $$ to sustain or buying friendship these days. The scariest thought of me not having anyone to consult in the end caused me into doing the ridiculous acts or indulging into the absolute worst feelings possible out of desperate measures and bad assumptions. It is sad when you felt like everyone against you when you knew the act you carried out will then be blamed upon your upbringing. In my case it really does. I am just afraid to be alone but to feel the pitiness from those honest eyes and gestures wished to surrounds you with fun stuff, it's so surreal. Perhaps I am just good to just be by myself.

So, Silence really is Golden? Do pictures really worth the thousand words, and my favorite; do "A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing" really speak for itself? Perhaps I should continue living with that in mind, or I will risk my weak heart anytime soon.

And, Silent Please!

Bookaholic

2009-05-07T11:27:00.005+08:00

I went overboard this year. Went to every book fair whenever I had time, and spent like a girl stuck in a 24 hour sale shopping haven. If only I have more of those moments and gazillions of $dollars$. Anyways, I love books, the way my fingers run through th edges of book stacked together, the smell of them pages be it newly distributed or an antique can simply be my kind of ecstasy. I can spent hours in a bookstore unless I really really needed to do something else. I may not have read all my books yet, but to know that I have them in my collection is another satisfaction I am looking for after any purchases. And books, were never been a regret made when I went crazy picking 'em, and paying 'em. I hope my wish for a personal library built in my house will soon come true.

this is just a few among have read, not yet finished, and soon I will read them...

My Wolverine

2009-04-29T21:13:00.006+08:00

Watched the Premiere courtesy of CIMB. Thanks to my credit purchase behaviour (bad), I got 4 tickets and treated 3 happy friends (good). I enjoyed it (better).

in the spirit world of Kuekuatsheu a.k.a. Wolverine and the lonely moon; I can relate...

He may be not but I am into Shopping THAT much

2009-04-25T10:31:00.003+08:00

Yes I had the indulgence of back to back doses of chic flicks although not entirely chick flicks as were stressed by the cast, but definitely something for boys and girls to think about, throughout last weekend. Friday night with He's Just Not That into You and Saturday afternoon with Confessions of a Shopaholic. The result; one OST baught and a profound look on things that were often pun in denial state of mind. How refeshing some movies can bring eh? at least usually for me. But then again, can we relate it in our environment? when deep analysis will only bring more heartbreak take on every single actions men or women do. Can we actually face the reality that were so tangible in our face and yet we chose to see it transparently? Sad... and pathetic at the same time. So, as I expected months earlier, this movies will only made me a bit depressed afterwards. But, life goes on... moving on to whatever next things came into life. Meanwhile, check out this site.. My friend's Branded Outlet Store to drool about.. grrr That; we can definitely realate to Rebecca Bloomwood kan? Proven with my recent credit purchase totalling Rm 400 on clothes and one particular scarf, not the GREEN one, but the one I have been looking for so long... crazy!

The Leader in You

2009-04-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

http://dianaashar.wordpress.com

And Like a Ghost I'll be gone

2009-03-30T22:10:00.000+08:00

Single Ladies - Beyonce

It's that Reality Again

2009-03-26T20:55:00.004+08:00

I am on sick leave today. Do not know what happen to my health lately. It's embarassing when at 30+ my body felt like a 50 year old. Really depressing. Anyways, doctor wasn't any help, instead of tracing the root cause, she only recommending me buying a RM 169 supplement pills. What the heck?

Well, while taking care of that cutie pie Ariff, I also was looking forward for that 6pm show, the infamous American Idol. Since this is MOTOWN week, I am looking forward for a certain people nailed it tonight. Instead, the underdog rise up the phoenix and really made me in awe. I have change my favorites altogether. It was Anoop before, but he's becoming over-confidence, and right now, two names I'd like see in the finals; Adam lambert and Matt Gerard. The voice? wow! truly an artist of his own that Adam guy is. Although without makeup he looks like Zac Ephron in Hairspray the movie, he definitely won my vote (if i ever able to vote). He even got the standing ovation from the majority of the crowd including the legendary Smokey Robinson himself. Hope he will sailed through the end. and here my friend is what you have been missing if you haven't been following the American Idol. Enjoy!

Adam Lambert performing Smokey Robinson's Tracks of My Tears

From the heart (honestly)

2009-03-21T17:33:00.001+08:00

The shivers down my spine have been contributing to my F1 racing heartbeat far too long. While I scream in the inside, I needed to say this, unable face to face, but here, once and for all:

Although I do have that good deed of accommodating everybody's happiness that sometimes take years of effort, I too, took control of destroying that felicity moment with grief in a split seconds. Yes, I am that snobbish little lady who usually play the bad guy in the movie, the manipulative b***h that will receive what she deserved all along. I paid the price now. While you waited for years, well, this is just not the time to come clean (or will it ever come?) but time to put it to rest, to lay it in the ground at the graveyard of all hearbreakers. I have love and be loved and I may never give the same and be getting a whole lot more. I won't ask for forgiveness because it will never worth to begin with, but I will wish to be forgotten, for regrets which I have a few is too hard to swallow, the memory was so well written it stuck. While I am trying to forget, I suffers, I will endure the pain of shameful decision made that may cause the heart of others, the hope and dream of another ordinary human kind. I can never be the best daughter, a reliable friend, a dependable lover and a respectable woman. I am just; me. Still, it won't stop me from saying I am sorry, because that is all I can say without reasons, without a forgiveness in return. This faith I have is gone, the fate is condone, the hate I will accept. I will just stay zombying myself to this cruel world of pure bad circumstances and ignorant torture of the heart. I do. I did love you. It's just a clumsy taken on responsibility on my part towards commitment of a lifetime. Stupidity of stubbornness and denial of the emotions. A total failure to see beyond the tender eyes.

So help me God I can live my life as who I am without expecting anything more, I will accept what ever destiny prepared for me without having to ask or wanted any explanations. I will just be.

It's that sinking feeling again.

2009-03-18T21:39:00.009+08:00

I said I am down with love, putting my feet down, go with the flow, don't want no more talking about it bla bla bla days earlier and yet that is all seems to sync with me amazingly. Be it to see it in movies, to read it in the book, to hear it in a song, Love is actually all around for me. One moment there is this romantic side of me started to get some ideas and jumping up and down about it, and then one good news of other feed into my brain became a heartbreaking one for me and I started to grief again. Perhaps it is true, while I act so cool with everything, I do take things seriously, other than work, the heart itself. I have been been thinking and trying too hard focusing on empty and ignoring anything that weren't even close in my book of dreams. Well, as Carrie Underwood put it:

'Cause sometimes
that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there
searching for foreverIs in your hands

And then you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else
Seem so small

(Do you see the Heart Reef of Great Barrier Reef in this image?, it's one super gorgeous scene isn't it?)

Others really seem small to me indeed as all I think about currently is how love connect other people beautifully and me not yet. So I am a hopeless romantic and all, I guess I am sticking to the true feeling deep inside of me that I never thought I have, perhaps I am just letting it flew all over the wrong cloud.

Maafkan bila ku Tak Sempurna III

2009-03-09T12:18:00.002+08:00

It took me months to whine about love, hate, failed relationship and my disregard to see beyond the dissappointments in life. And it took me by watching one slot of LIVE show celebrating the birthdate of our Junjungan Rasullullah S.A.W to realize there are bigger things in life worth pursuing and fighting for. While I anticipate to see more extraordinary individuals awarded for Tokoh Maulifur Rasul 1430H, I learned so much more out of the presentation. These are individuals whom we seldom overlooked in the world where materials materialized and titles matter over every opportunities in life. The devotion each one has in everything they are passionate about are shown in their eyes and shot through from their heart of them respectable souls. From Professor Sidek Baba, to Dr Mahmud Osman to Dr Murtada Lau Abdullah to the little hafiz Adik Mohamad to the incredible strong willed Adik Muhammad Haziq; (pardon me if I am not getting all the names right) they made me realize how small I am, how little I contribute to human beings in general and how far from jihad for Allah a Muslim that I am supposed to becoming.

Perhaps that registration to be part of Dr Jemilah Mahmood's team will force me to do more in life and feel good about myself.

Just Not That Much...

2009-03-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

How do we be certain that a guy is really into us? Why do we chase someone who were never into us in the first place? Why can't we give someone we don't like so much a chance? What becomes of a brokenheart? Suddenly it all came together at the same time huh? And again I am in that crossroads which will make me ended up like a bad or a sad person. Either way it will be pathetic. Perhaps my adventurous and wild side didn't give me too much of an advantage. It only slaps me back in the face and brings more confusion and then lead me to this; He just not that into you; not a fan of a true fact (although really into reality TV), I actually have been avoiding the book or the Oprah Show talking about the same topic, and then the movie coming up soon. This going to be a depressed social event to be looking forward to. With good actors and actress starring in the movie, I had to watch it. Depressing or not, gotta face my own demon now huh? Inspite of me thinking I have been let down by a lot of people, perhaps I have been the source of the grief all along. Time to snap and rose back to real world I guess, with help of another fiction on the big screen of course. What a way to expect the unexpected huh?

Aku Melayang lagi...

2009-02-25T23:15:00.006+08:00

Andrea Hirata did it again. Thanks to a good friend down in Surabaya who have been very kind to have sent me the book all the way across South China Sea... Thanks ya Iyul! I'll cherish it all my life! Kapan ke malaysia? :-)

The book my friend, is Maryamah karpov. And again it made me making faces and feeling it deep into them pages. The ending was quite confusing for me, but I think I'll read the tetralogy again someday. As always Andrea inspired me, but not enough to push me for the MPH short story writing competition due in 31st March. I think I am inspired and yet my mind couldn't put anything good in writing worthy of being judged for the best in the nation. Weird huh? I am inspired but not much inspiration penetrates into my brain and eventually trigger my fingers to write those magical words that could amazed any literature fan for now. Why am I so stuck?

As for Maryamah Karpov, the book again brought me into the journey of world filled with possibilities and dreams. Going onto path towards civilization harmonized by unity among differences and passions in life. How we wish such world exist on every inches of land on this earth I supposed, then peace at last. Then again, one can always dream, and another can always make it happened, someday, and soon I hope.

Ok people, I am going to attempt Andrea here, be still your heart, for this might break you or something else... anything.

Cinta.. , terlalu tinggi kata itu pada seseorang dan tentunya pada satunya yang lain. Ia sesuatu yang sukar dimengertikan sehingga kadang-kadang sebetulnya kita hanya berasa pada satu belah tangan sahaja. Pedih kalau terjadi yang sebetulnya itu, sekonyol-konyol diperbodohkan diri sendiri. wah... penasaran ya? Aku contoh terhampir tentang ketegaran membuktikan cinta sejati yang tampak indah atas talian. Aku sudah pun menyeberang lautan mencarinya, kerna aku begitu pasti pengenalan hampir dua tahun 'online' itu membolehkan aku sadar itu yang aku mau banget. Tapi ternyata, aku hanya bermain perasaan sendiri, dan ternyata, tiada yang lebih realis dari realiti sebenar, melihat dengan mata sendiri, berdiri atas tanah yang sama, menghirup udara yang sama dan segala yang seumpama. Realiti sebetulnya menyakitkan, walaupun kamu semua tidak mahu mengakuinya, kesempurnaan adalah yang kamu cari, aku bukan bermaksud sesempurna Nabi, kerna ia pastinya tidak akan terjadi, tetapi sememangnya kesederhanaan kita mahukan yang seadanya tampak, sempurna... Ngerti? Fikir-fikirkan lagi kalau belum mengerti. Ah, kawan, dunia www ternyata satu lagi dunia fantasi yang manusia ciptakan untuk menhindari kita semua dari kejamnya alam sebenar dalam hidup kita. Aku pasrah...

Hehe.. did i just do that? I guess I ought to try it at least once. How did I do? Did i manage to pull Andrea Hirata?

Andai Aku Sang Putri

2009-02-21T12:42:00.005+08:00

Finally we got to watch the most talked about Musical performance made by Malaysians in Malaysia in town; Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical, we even bought the tickets early on, in December 2008. O what an affair it was! What a treat I finally got for mom and sis to witness it together with me (as a payback I didn’t take them for P Ramlee last time). The overall performance was wonderful, sat seven meters away from the stage, we have to look up once in a while when both Gustri Putri and Tuah up on that mountain professing love and affections. The sound was overly projected; I depended on the translation display to get what they were talking about. Despite, I was in awe and I totally enjoyed it. So was mom, despite her disapproval of their costumes, hehehe... Java maa… need to get into character. Wonder what will I wear should I was cast for the performance. Mmm…

On a different note, I was really into the show, at times I swear I saw myself, so vulnerable and so intense in confessing, concerning what heart matters, with dignity all in tact. Wish I was once loved in such historical and dramatic circumstances. Wonder if I was a princess in previous life… Gusti Putri Raden Adjeng Retno Dumilah to be exact

February Song...

2009-02-01T15:58:00.011+08:00

It’s February again, being a hopeless romantic myself, this particular month never failed to soften my heart and smile every time I saw people so deeply in love be it on the screen or in reality. I have found love,then I lost love, now I have been without love for five years, it still gives me the blues. Watching the tele whole day during weekend gave me mix of emotions, even Spongebob got a Valentine’s Day special episode… *sigh*

I actually promise myself to put my feet down on this matter. I guess it’s too hard, and that’s why I chose to just be at home. Staring at the same shows on TV. I guess Love indeed just another game we play.

February Song ~ Josh Groban

How brave are you?

2009-01-18T13:05:00.004+08:00

I was getting two doses of bravery story this month. First I was made to watch my sister’s friend’s directorial effort for a theater called BERANI MATI. It was a humble performance by five manly men who were showing us what it takes to fight the right combat and die for it…NOT! It was a good show, not to say it wasn’t great, I guess it wasn’t too much of my forte in show genre. The guys actually showed the coward side of us all without us knowing it ever present inside all of us. It does make us, or at least me, asking myself, what JIHAD act I did to fight for my fellow Muslims. Seriously. Does ‘tunjuk perasaan’ and boycotting everything (look again at the list of brands they wanted us to boycott, honestly we cannot eat, drink and use everything…) really helps them fight for their life? It is sad though to see how helpless our friends’ fights to stay alive and provide the best dreams for the little ones and promising tomorrow will be a better day. I wish I can do more, I wish I am BOLD enough to enroll as a reserved Army and be in that battle towards humanity in general and Jihad for Allah in particular. I guess I am not that brave to BERANI MATI huh? Well staged drama Faz…

Next showanship about courage and heroism is the movie call The Brave One on ASTRO, starring Jodie Foster and my man, Terence Howard! It was a nerve wrecking drama that made me question my part in society. While it scared the hell out of me to be alone in this crazy world, it made me wonder how much longer I will just be another bystander along our unpredictable streets and corners? Is it ok to take matters with our own bare hand when, honestly, how many cases were seeing justice in this world? Not many I can say. There are lots of kinds of people; we can never know who to trust significantly. Now, this just made me even more skeptical of strangers. How do we make more friends with this cynicism in mind? How to lean on somebody when those so-called friends I so little have is not dependable twenty four seven? It’s hell of a ride out there, all those moments I went home very late from work, help somebody out in odd hours, I know I need to depends on the almighty Allah for savior when I often let down by fellow human reliability. I am not trying to exaggerate my unfortunate cases, but when it happened one, too many times, you’d just stop being hopeful. I just did.

No love in new year?

2009-01-10T13:16:00.002+08:00

I can't say that I am not hurt when I heard the news that Giring got a

new girlfriend, I guess I am not good enough for a celebrity status huh? *sigh*

I guess no one love me anymore...

And I am not saying my family didn't.. they love me a lot (or so I hope)...

I just need that different kinda love... hehehehe (so direct)

I guess I am just in that hormonal change phase.. BAD TIME! o man! I am so messed up!

*sigh* *sigh*

Obsession

2008-12-27T13:56:00.005+08:00

Not the perfume. Literally it is, the feeling I had after finishing of the year with I think a big bang event itself. Managed to overcome the resistance to step into the most overrated club in town, the six guys under the title NIDJI saw me watching them in action last Sunday 21st of December 2008. A memorable concert it was as after I saw Giring LIVE; I know...

He's the ONE.

My Husband?

2008-12-19T14:57:00.002+08:00

Dean Koontz mentions his thought on qualities a husband should bring to his marriage, i.e.;

“Cherish her as a child of God. If you truly married for love, then it was not
merely her looks or personality that enchanted you, but her unique soul. If you
remember that the essence of her is sacred, you will treat her with respect and
have a sense of awe at the destiny that brought you together.”

So boys, who read my blog… be it you single, to be married, or married, please be inspired. I sure hope to have individual of that kind one day. As I have finished endure the suspense in book The Husband by Dean Koontz, the end words truly showed that he meant every words throughout the enthralling story. This one ends in two and half days! Phew.

After Finished reading that, I just got matched with THE LAKE HOUSE in one those quiz in Facebook, and got excited about it, because I am so into that film when most of my friends think the movie’s ridiculous. Then I saw Trading Spaces (one of the reality series on TV), then the hot carpenter named Brandon reminds me of how appealing that is to have a very handy husband one day. Hahahahaha. So, what do I want in a man? Just the kind that will appreciate me as Mr. Dean Koontz put it in quote above. Hmmm

The Unbearable Anguish

2008-12-16T21:04:00.003+08:00

Perhaps I am the pathetic one. I felt helpless every time the loads of work thrown on me; it feels like a heavy burden pour upon the shoulder of a man even the strongest cannot handle it. At times I felt like I was pushed into the rink among the fastest horses rode by their jockey beating each other to finish the race with the glorious victory. The spectators will watch powerlessly in horror, the shocked jockeys wouldn’t even have a second to even think of next course of action to do in that very atrocious moment. Let alone them, I, the one in the middle of that commotion will found myself closing my eyes, taking all the pain men can bear with all good thoughts and life playing before my eyes. That’s not even close to how vulnerable I am feeling right now. Pause.

Okay, what’s with the Horses analogy? Well, I just finished reading Under Orders book by Dick Francis, a very good British crime story to fulfill my train ride time indeed. Horse, jockey, spoilt brat, wager.com etc definitely a fresh change in my book genre.

Continue. Anyways, back to my reality again. Do I have the right to hate the situation or the person that made me feel like this? Why do I suddenly let my vulnerability taking over my insecurity to prove that I am a very reliable and useful human being slash employees? Urgh! I do despise that superior persona though, the bossy, intimidating and big fat ass he is.

God… please do forgive me.

Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck

2008-12-06T20:44:00.005+08:00

I don’t know what to feel after finished reading Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wjick by HAMKA after suggested by so many people. I am so mad at them that I am not sure what to feel exactly right now. Was it worth it? Sticking to the first love, wait your whole life for it, then when the time finally came, the egomaniac kicking in, and we lost it in the next instance. It was such a sad ending, I wish I can rewrite the whole love story again, like rewriting Romeo and Juliet with a twist… mmm… something to ponder eh?

Please guys, read the book, suffer with me....

Road of Less Travelled

2008-12-06T20:33:00.006+08:00

Got the chance to travel to the East Coast twice this year, one with me slept through the ride on the bus until we reached the intended destination. The other one attempted recently on a road trip with a friend who actually had to go because of duty call. Taking on the opportunity of free hotel stay and ride, I decided to go along.

Land of Tok Nik Aziz
Kota Bahru, the rustic small town is certainly inviting despite not much to explore. After 7 hours driving, enjoying every scenic view, air and sounds of East Coast road along Raub, Bentong, Gua Musang, Kuala Krai etc, we finally reached Kota Bahru in the late afternoon. After prayer, we went ahead to Pantai Cahaya Bulan, a must itinerary for Kota Bahru. Ten minutes of looking at the big waves hitting the beach, and few snap of photos later, we were back in the car due to heavy pour. Then we spent the night at Kak Maizirah’s house, having dinner at home since it’s raining with Mi Kg Pek, spicyly yummy (and I don’t usually fond of spicy food). Next day, we gotta have breakfast with Nasi Kerabu, and so we did, it was a simple spread, and cheap. We checked in into Garden Riverview hotel overlooking the very chocolate-y coloured Kelantan River. WE then scaled Pasar siti Khadijah and THE Bazaar, scored one or two well-bargained Batik. As per everybody’s recommendation, we had lunch at Nasi Ulam Cikgu. Delicious large spread lunch and cheap! Yeay! Another round of Kota Bahru the next day; while Jojie’s working, then we are off to the next destination. One regret is that we never got to watch the original Wayang Kulit...

you gotta love Kelantan for this...

Land of the many mosques
Kuala Terengganu. The place where we should have bought all the batik (they say it’s cheaper in Kuala Terengganu) and Keropok, but due to time constraints there, all the purchase made in Kota Bahru was a smart judgment. Stayed in Primula Park royal Hotel, which is the best hotel stayed for the trip. Spent the Jojie’s working day with a friend who took me around town including the visit to the very recently famous landmark, Masjid Kristal. And then we are off to the last destination. And I was driving. Surprise! And I have proven again, I am indeed a reckless driver, and loving every minute of it. :-)

Last but not least
The final destination again has nothing much to see but a definite resting place for the long trip. In Kuantan Pahang, we stayed in the M.S Garden Hotel (I forgot to check what M.S stands are for). It is a very old and outdated hotel with not so friendly staff. Anyways, we went to Tanjung Lumpur, have a good Sata and a lavish seafood dinner which mostly were wasted because we were full with the Sata before. Tamak! Padan muka. Then we lepaking at Teluk Chempedak, looking at sunsets. It was a worthy jalan-jalan cari makan though. As if that wasn’t enough, we slept after dinner due to kekenyangan and went to the mall to have a round of Starbucks. What’s the deal? I am not quite sure; perhaps I just gotta have those because I saw the Starbucks outlet. Crazy! The next day we are back to KL before stopped for Keropok souvenir for family and friends.

Despite the constant raining throughout the tour, it was a good journey for me indeed, I finally step my feet in Kota Bahru, Kelantan… yeay!

Back to KL, work on the next day. *sigh* Tired…

Just after we reached home, since it is a monsoon season, Kota Bahru and Kuala Terengganu were hit by major flood. We are glad because we back before got trapped in that bad weather. But my heart still went to those whose home and lives were ruined with that disaster. When will this end? I guess pihak berwajib should be looking into better plan for those town so they won’t be experiencing this every year… please….

Andrea Hirata

2008-11-19T21:26:00.008+08:00

Have you ever been swept away by series of words written together making number of paragraphs which then turned into chapters that made up a book. Well, I have. And it is very recent. These past two weeks have seen me making faces out of emotions I have gained by reading the master pieces by Andrea Hirata. A sudden phenomenon from Indonesia who has rocked the world of literature in his homeland and beyond. Not one but three of his books have made me captivated and kept me awake throughout my journey to work and back. All at once and right there, that very ride in that very train is an event I can’t wait when woke up in the morning and when rushing out of the office in the afternoon. If you were paying attention to me, (well, it might happen that there is one or two person actually been checking me out), you can actually saw a smile, a smirk, holding back tears, touched and many more emotions written all over my face, and it was due to the magical work of Andrea Hirata. Okay, coming from me who seldom read Malaysian’s authors work in Bahasa Melayu, and if I ever read them, I tend to browse through very fast only to know what’s the ending right there and then, no thrill whatsoever, I may exaggerate the work of Andrea, but he did and boy! did he take me in his shoes, look at things from his perspective, and dream the same dream he has. He certainly inspired me to be in love again with what I always have such passion in; writing (at least at my own level of literalism), art, people, culture and dream, dream away…

Laskar Pelangi
Although I am glad to that God give me an average urban life from childhood till now, reading Laskar Pelangi assured me that I will appreciate everything any kampung life gave me. People living near paddy field will laugh at how outsiders be amazed by such view, but if I happened to be those people living in that very vicinity, among the mountain, or by the sea, I would want to be like Laskar Pelangi who appreciates the beautiful life of their own village, their own native soil. With the opportunity given, I would surely hope I strive the hardest and be that very one from the kampung to enroll in Oxford pursuing one knowledge to another. It was so inspiring.

Sang Pemimpi
Like The Alchemist, in this book, Ikal gave me hope that anything can happen if we were determined to ensure dreams do come true, and as cheesy as it sounds, it does come true to them in the most sweetest memories one can ever experienced. And with the Dad Ikal has? I will kill to have one just like Pak Seman. The friendship and devotion showed by Arai made me craved for one soul I can always depend on for anything and everything. Though the love towards someone is portrayed beyond leniency and full of compassion, it is indeed and I won’t mind to have it in my world one day. I will always and never want to stop dreaming.

Edensor
The world of Europe and its surroundings never sound closer like Andrea presented in this book, he made it more beautiful, made it more desirable to travel. He reminded me the sweetness of the first love, of highest ecstacy in reaching the dreams and in the end, closing it with such gratifications towards faith and pure satisfaction one will ever savored. Oh and I hope one day I will, travel around the world.

Those two books were the best buy I got from Jakarta (one being already bought earlier), now I can't wait for Maryamah Karpov. And yes, Andrea Hirata will be that other person in my list of people I want to meet. Among Oprah and Sarah Jessica Parker. Hehe.. ahh.. mabuk kepayang aku...

Tentang aku?

2008-11-12T23:36:00.003+08:00

This coming from a friend based on our chat conversation....

""1. kamu kadang kala tertutup
2. kalem
3. dibilang pendiem juga tidak, karena kamu pribadi yang menyenangkan kalau diajak bicara
4. kadangkala suka bercanda
5. berani
6. penuh pertimbangan
7. Kurang Pede... kadang sih
8. Smart
9. Sepertinya kamu punya rutinitas atau kegemaran yang jarang orang ketahui tapi menurutmu itu sangat menyenangkan
10. Sepertinya kamu tuh tipikal romantis
11. Mudah bergaul
12. suka traveling
.........................semoga saya salah""

Seems ok to me? what about you?

My Indonesia's Adventures

2008-11-08T21:16:00.008+08:00

As if what I have told everybody isn’t enough, I have to write about it? I guess I just need to… Feel a bit off these past two days… gotta let something off my mind. So, where do we start? Hmm…

The capital
Jakarta is a very hectic town indeed. The worst traffic jam I ever been to. Lots and lots of people everywhere, crowded by the side of the road, the middle of the road and even on the divider. No space whatsoever to breathe. Okay a bit exaggerating. Despite all of it, to me: it was all very interesting to experience in another country. The crazier it gets the wider smile I have on my face thinking about it. And there in Jakarta, I score some good food, good shopping, good walk or rather run around town, and a very good SPA session… ahh, what a way to end 12 day trip that very last day. The best experience there was when we had a ride on the 'mikrolat' (a public transportation in a van) that were driven in reverse in a very heavy traffic with intention to avoid it during a peak hours. The driver managed to piss many people off, and we glad we arrived in location in one piece. Phew…

The Love Stop
Bandung. As you all know it is a town among mountains in Java, it is also a hectic town, a shopping haven and good food all around, too bad my stomach failed on me on my first two days in Indonesia, yet; we still managed to go from one café to another, enjoyed every delicacy Bandung has to offer, yeay! The sick feeling in my stomach also caused an uneasy feeling during our shopping spree with Joj and Teteh Felis and has only caused me to not be able obtain enough things for my family and friends, sorry ya. Second day, after a visit to Tangkuban Perahu with Pak Agus, Felis and Joji, I continue the journey with another friend. And even with me not really fond of motorbike, I rode on one there with that very guy who was the focal point for me coming to Bandung. Suprisingly, not a single awkward moment felt throughout the journey, and it only make sense to travel by bike to the mountain and back rather than any 4 wheel automobile or It will take forever (or so I thought). The view of bandung and its vicinity from the top? Breathtakingly amazing! The exhilarating journey to the top gives me peace at its peak, and savour every minutes of the cold air and the beautiful scenery , eventhough with not much conversation conveyed, as there was a busy snapping session. The hot coffee and banana with cheese made a great companion, and the guy I finally got to meet face to face after being acquainted for years made the experience one I will never forget. Been so deep into it since the day back from Bandung, but now I am down to not to think about it so much. It was a weird feeling but it was good while it lasted on my mind and in my heart. *sigh*

The Backpacking
Now, this is the most important part of the journey, the one that made me captivated with the idea brought by Joji, so thanks Joj, for made me coming with you to this trip. It started with us anxiously driven through a traffic jam to the train station to catch the 4.45 pm train to Semarang. After successfully crawling out of traffic we then came across another obstacle with the law who said we took the wrong turn, (I didn’t really understand, maybe it’s Indonesia’s traffic violation or something). Rp 40.000 and without caring whatsoever in the world later, we found ourselves dashing to the platform (forgetting we do not have a good stamina) only to find out the train was late. Phew…

Everybody was touching their heart which beats like crazy and started to laugh it all out after boarding the train when it arrived. Imagine us missing that 7 hour ride train? Mbak Yuni will need to make a major reschedule to our trip and it will not be cool.

Semarang
After spent a night in Mbak yuni’s borther’s house, we started early for that day activity, we went around town, visit the famous temple, famous church and a very old and ruined office building which were used during Dutch-Japanese invasion. We then went to the famous Candi Gedongsongo which seeing me only managed to go up to the Third candi, Joj, Mbak Yuni and Mbak Adwi went all the way to no 4 and 5 and back. Candi number 6 to 9 is mysteriously invisible. Anyways, to my defense, I stopped to accompany Cici who were not feeling very well and had to go back down after the third (I am not tired ok, just lazy). Hehe. The view again… amazing! We ended the trip in Wonosobo, staying in a very low budget hotel; PARAMA. Joji demam at this point. Felt sorry for her, and all I can do is be as motherly as possible and took care of her so she can at least enjoyed the rest of the journey at her pace.

Wonosobo-Dieng
We started the second day with a new driver, Titus as our guide, and were off scaling Wonosobo and Dieng. Visited Telaga Menjer, Telaga Warna, Candi Arjuna and Banjarnegara. We also managed to watch a half hour history of the volcanoes’ site at the theatre. Had not so nice lunch, checked out and rush to Borobudur.

Borobudur-Magelang-Jogjakarta
Unfortunately, the borobudur was closed when we arrived, so the sunset view plan is cancelled and off to Magelang and had a very nice dinner, with o God, I forgot the name, something tauhu, kinda like our Tauhu Bakar in Johor Bahru but bigger portion and lots of tahu (then again, Indonesia is very generous with their food portion, all large, made for two). We spent the night in Mbak Adwi’s hometown home, which is the best place to rest for me throughout our 5 days backpacking journey. Ibu Mbak Adwi is so tiny but a very powerful hardworking old woman I ever met. The house is huge and immaculately tidy for a one person living in it. I was so happy; I slept like a baby in the living room, in front of the TV. Yeah… me and tv, inseparable.

After a good night sleep, we had another new driver, and off to Jogjakarta. On the way, we went back Borobudur and to Magelang to scale Ketep Pass, planned to see Merapi mountain from a top, unfortunately, it was raining, we can only see fog from the peak, few pictures snapped, a bowl of noodle soup and a jagung bakar later, we off to scouring the rest of Candi and Beaches before finally went to long awaited Jogjakarta. Arrived very late in the afternoon, managed to visit Mbak Yuni’s friend, Mbak Adwi’s brother and finally spent the night at Mbak Adwi’s cousin’s home in long awaited and the very final town in our trip itinerary, JOGJAKARTA.

Mbak Indah, Mbak Adwi’s cousin took us cruising Jogja town at night, we had supper in a much dimmed lighting café at the roadside where most of University’s undergraduates always hang out. Had a very nice pulut bakar and Nasi kecil? (similar to nasi lemak), yes I ate both. Gosh! The great entertainment for the night, a man dressing like a warrior dancing with his very loud Indonesian traditional music on the road by the café… the highlight of our very tiresome day indeed. Unfortunately, I didn't capture it on camera, I am such a bonehead in the camera capturing area, I tend to not quickly snap a good moment as I usually captivated too much by a certain moment I tend to rely it on my brain to capture it in my mind, which is a no-no lately when the memory have been down to 2MB. Gosh! anyways, gave the guy Rp1000 and off to cruising Jogja again before heading home for a good night sleep.

The next and the very final day of backpacking, we finishing off with a ride on a horse carriage, visited the famous Kraton and shopping spree for souvenirs at the Malioboro. It was crush time before catching the 4:45 pm flight (another 4:45). The purchase again all go haywired and I hadn’t had the slightest clues what I bought. Let just say, I ended up not giving anybody anything as souvenir… hehehe.. (Again, to my defense, this is not an attempt to ask for forgiveness for not getting you guys anything ya…)

After a gruesome long drive climbing up hills, mountains, winding road for five days, the only time I remembered breathing is when we landed back at Mbak Yuni’s house. But it was all worth it. I fell in love with Jogjakarta. I think I can settle down there. ;-)

The return
Phew… the trip was awesome huh. I hope I do justice with the story telling. I wouldn’t want to write the names wrongly and have the wrong memory written in here but I do have to put this in writing so I can have this in written as another proof of my attempt to scale the earth and witnessing amazing place starting at our very own Asia. I know I have a LONG way to go, but this is a heck of a start. I fell in love, fall out of love, met a lot of good people of Indonesia starting with Mbak Yuni. Their hospitality is ridiculously amazing, I felt weak with all the care and aid bestowed upon us, Joji and I. Thanks also to Mbak Adwi, Cici, Teteh Felis, Hanny, Corey, Jersey, Mbak2 lain yang aku lupa namanya.. maaf ya, for being so friendly and made us feel so close to home and smiling at all time. I apologize in advanced should your visit to our country won’t promise a first class service equally to what we received in your homeland. I cherished the friendship and forever have you all close to my heart. Thank you for the amazing journey I will never forget.

Tak Perlulah aku Mengelilingi Dunia…

2008-10-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

That is at least after my recent trip to Indonesia and after watching the most amazing movie called Laskar Pelangi. This might sound unacceptable to some, but after 12 days travelling from Jakarta to Middle Java and back, enough to make me fall in love with the nation, well, that is another story.

As for Laskar Pelangi, it was certainly different from the normal cheesy Malay/Indo love theme flick shown one after another. Even though Love also being the big part of this feature, the story about those Belitong kids keeping up with education and modernization with two feet held firmly on the ground manage to make me cried few times (although trying hard to hold back). Andrea wrote a beautiful story that the movie might not capture its best, but a very good job indeed. Kudos. Every scene touch my heart dearly. Even cooler that Nidji were chosen to write the movie’s OST. The song is so poetic and equally beautiful, enough to give me goose bump every time I hear it.

Laskar Pelangi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mimpi adalah kunci untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
Berlarilah tanpa lelah, sampai engkau meraihnya
Laskar pelangi...Takkan terikat waktu.
Bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa, raih bintang di jiwa
Menarilah dan terus tertawa, walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersukurlah pada yang kuasa, cinta kita di dunia
Selamanya...
Cinta kepada hidup, memberikan senyuman abadi
Walau hidup kadang tak adil, tapi cinta lengkapi kita
Laskar pelangi…Takkan terikat waktu
Jangan berhenti mewarnai, jutaan mimpi di bumi
Menarilah dan terus tertawa, Walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersukurlah pada yang kuasa, cinta kita di dunia

Selamanya...

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna II

2008-10-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

Finally got the chance to watch Ayat-ayat Cinta on TV3 (or was it TV9?) although the DVD were always there in the rack. Anyways, in the tradition of movie made based on a novel, there had to be changes all over the place to fit into the two hour viewing pleasures or otherwise we’ll have to wait for two days for the ending. My advice to those who happened to be into it, go read the book, much much better perspective. So, what do I think about it? Being an emotional person myself, I had to shed a tear or two, well; there are few moments worth being teary about and ponder upon. This kind of movie always made me INSAF for a while, made me wonder if there will ever be a FAHRI for me out there (although there are few things I can’t agree with J) and will I ever be as close as AIshah being the bigger person? Mmm…

And while watching that, I was also preparing for tomorrow’s makan-makan with close friends with mommy and Siti, Siti is the mastermind anyway. I just went along with it. Why? Not that I am not a good hostess. One thing that I will never be excited about is the idea of cooking! I just am too lazy ok, not lazy, well, I am just not into it (just like guys can be NOT INTO IT sometimes). I can help with the preparations or tidying up, but cooking, I am just… uninterested. So, what will that make me? I wonder sometimes if that a reason God haven’t found a Jodoh for me, you know, human nature… bla… bla… men will like to marry someone who can cook ya? take care of their food etc. *sigh* And there was a question, “dah tu kalau hang suka satu2 makanan tu takkan tak nak belajar membuatnya?” Well, I can buy it right? Or pay someone to do it for me? I do cook a little bit though; sometime in a blue moon; when I Really, Really into it. Rarely, but I tried and will try it again, just don’t push me… please…

Then again, maybe it’s just me.

Perhaps I do need a pusher, not the illegal kind, the motivational kind. Believe me when I said (as you were being told more than once), I am the most DEMOTIVATED person in my world at least. I am still waiting for the day; I got inspired and eventually do something about it. It will be more amazing if one particular individual can find their way to my miserable so-called personality and change that about me.

Geramnya...

2008-10-03T08:15:00.002+08:00

Yep, that’s my car. Yep, I am pissed off. Some nerve people have doing that during Hari Raya, while we were visiting friend. Grrr. What’s worse is when you will be blamed for this for the rest of my life, the “what if?” symptom throughout my pathetic life.

*sigh*

Salam Lebaran kembali

2008-09-26T20:41:00.001+08:00

Selamat menyambut Aidil Fitri tahun ini. Semoga keikhlasan kita dalam bulan Ramadhan diterima Allah yang Esa.

Maafkan segala makan minum dan tingkahlaku saya ye bang.. ops sorry... tingkahlaku saya ye kawan2, adik2, abang2, kakak2, makcik2, pakcik2, tuan2, puan2.. dan semua yang lain.

Insya Allah... semuanya selamat...

Got this!!

2008-09-19T23:26:00.005+08:00

Just got tagged with this... pretty cool. meant a lot.. thanks UYA! And here's what I visit regularly:

Enjoy.. and have the blessed remaining days of RAMADHAN...

??

2008-09-18T20:57:00.001+08:00

IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...IN LOVE.. NOT IN LOVE... IN LOVE... NOT IN LOVE...

P/S: not quite sure, it's all so blur...

Salam Ramadhan

2008-09-01T00:59:00.002+08:00

Ubadah Bin Somit ra. meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

pada suatu hari ketika Ramadhan hampir menjelang: "Telah datang kepadamu bulan
Ramadhan, di mana Allah melimpah ruahkan di dalamnya dengan keberkatan,
menurunkan rahmat, mengampuni dosa-dosa kamu, memakbulkan doa-doa kamu, melihat
di atas perlumbaan kamu untuk memperolehi kebaikan yang besar dan berbangga
mengenaimu di hadapan malaikat-malaikat. Maka tunjukkanlah kepada Allah Taala
kebaikan dari kamu. Sesungguhnya orang yang bernasib malang ialah dia yang
dinafikan daripada rahmat Allah pada bulan ini."

Semoga ibadah di bulan Ramadhan tahun ini lebih bermakna, kepada rakan-rakan Muslim sekalian, ampun maaf dipinta dan semoga bulan mulia ini kita mulakan dengan hati sebersih-bersihnya agama. Insya Allah...

As for guide--> http://www.islam.gov.my/portal/puasa.php

Islanded and back...

2008-08-31T22:00:00.000+08:00

People, I am back from the long awaited vacation down in Perhentian Island, staying in Senja Bay Resort; supposedly to get away from lots of stuff going on in August. Really glad I did it (Thanks Iza!). It all went down to Iza fulfilling the four days with Open Water Course and Tasha and me satisfying time with eat, sleep, soaking the sun and dip into the very clear ocean water along the Long Beach. It was like being in another country when surrounds with all those Mat Salleh… Occassional meet with locals caused us joy. Funny!

To sum it all up, I am happy, not too tired with all that mini jungle trekking and faux swimming… but I am contented…

p.s: O yea, I apologize boss for not picking up the phone…

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna...

2008-08-04T22:14:00.003+08:00

Just when I thought I faced everything there is in life, last Friday definitely a wake up call. In split seconds, the doctor saw the huge lump and decided I need an urgent Lumpectomy. So I did. I was on the operating table last Saturday, undergone the operation. And now am waited anxiously for the lab result on Thursday. Hopefully it will be nothing serious that could lead to radiation etc... Insya Allah...

Ya Allah, I feel so small sometimes in this big old place... forgive me for not spending more time with you...

Sex, NYC and Fabulousity

2008-07-23T09:18:00.006+08:00

I did have something to blog prior to this entry. Something about seeing fairytale Beauty and the beast in the Musical and later watching the reality show; the apprentice all in the same week. It was like a jolted from a dream back to reality in a time machine.

Anyway, the thing I am about to enlighten is so much more worth telling, it is so marvelous I even relive the same experience in my sleep with me as the main character…

It began with the gruesome hour of standing in line for free tickets redemption to the most awaited show of the year. Never mind the pain later inflicted while heading to the train that gave me an ugly big bruise in the thigh, SEX AND THE CITY is definitely became my flick of the year, heck, and my life… O yeah, spent time watching it with my girlfriends made it even more awesome!

Set aside the O so fabulous “labels for rent” and the real labels flaunted around the beautiful NYC, I was drawn and still am moved with whatever Carrie Bradshaw and the gang brought on screen and eventually to my head. Among others that also got me thinking is:

1. While Cliché is overrated, I think it is always what a girl need. I won’t mind a dozen roses every now and then, a constant reminder of love assurance in writing won’t hurt and an old-fashioned on bended knee proposal will always, always be a perfect deal starter.

2. Those avant-garde and runway fashion dresses and such that did not make any sense, will always found me bring it if I had a chance to get my hand in it, well IF I ever in the RIGHT town.

3. And finally, yes, LOVE does exist and falling into it once in a while and eventually into the one that sticks will be super amazing! Now I become more anxious to one day to have that moment with a significant other and me.

Last but not least, perhaps a love letter to sum up the feelings I have for SATC…

Dear Me,

This may be weird that I would write (or type) a love letter or
some sort to myself but doesn’t it always have to be about me? (Samantha) and to
persistently believe that there will be the ONE for me out there (Charlotte); To
finally have that one as my very own family, the one I could go home to after
working hours (Miranda); all that and with the support of a fabulous friendship
that lasts a lifetime (CARRIE), with the happy ending in the end. All the above
will be the greatest gifts a girl can have.

Yours truly,
Yours truly.

The Malayneum Chronicle

2008-06-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

It's been a while...

Since then, I constantly complaining about how my International passport is expired this December and only two pages filled and just two out of four stamps are foreign, yet, no holiday plan overseas got realized again.

Since then, I still am evaluating my purpose in the workplace with less and less enthusiasm to follow through the system, the bureaucracy and the stubbornness of my mind to be driven to labor fulfillment. Yet, no action done to change course of my corporate ladder climbing to success.

Since then, more and more fairytales got the best of me and when one of those dream of others came true, it only kept me wallowing on my fate and caused me verging on desperation, totally humiliating!

Nevertheless, these past months had seen me appreciating Malaysia as a whole, well maybe not the whole lempeng, but I tasted the good portion with a dip into a very delicious curry. Glad I am able to appreciate the country and all in it despite the hatreds and chaos being provoked, life should be endured, seriously, with a slight taste of humor along the way, in line with fuel and other’s price hike that is…

And so here it went

* The trippin’ vacation….

Be it a planned one or a business with pleasure opportunity, me, ma, sis and gangs manage to explore places and food for joyfulness. Johor brought back memories with a food feast moment as a good reminiscence, Malacca was a historical exploration with me appreciating history, Tuah, Melayu etc, I guess Port Dickson never boring, when one took their mommy hiking in the recreational forest hill this time and Penang with it’s very confusing road, an amazing road trip and a definite food haven for all penangites to be proud of. It was all now very close to my heart. Now, I can’t wait for my next adventure in Perhentian Island, well, more like relaxing by the sea reading books since I am terrified of water. Minus the adventure my friends will be experiencing (scuba diving and snorkeling) hope I’ll get the rest much needed for.

* The entertaining Malaysian…

With the ever irreplaceable legendary P Ramlee (who always remind me of my father), a Musical number brought us all back down memory lane definitely worth the time spent. P Ramlee The Musical managed to give me goose bumps and unending smile. Another movie by khabir Bhatia managed to get me to the cinema and watch another Malay movie, SEPI. Despite friend’s warning of a teary affair, not one drop of water coming down from my eyes. It was entertaining though… really.

So, despite me wanted to be American or Australian or whatever-ian, I am glad I am here, as a Malaysian in the homeland of Malaysia, But, if one foreign opportunity knocks, I am out of here… in a split! Traitor! Hehehe…

What else? With the recent office gossip about me among others? I guess I am contented for now.

Idol Updates

2008-03-12T21:41:00.002+08:00

The final 12 of American Idol hopefuls were battling it up, for the first week today. I thought they are all wonderful, with a few of them kinda play it very safe. The theme was the ultimate selection that I would be the happiest if I were one of the contestants:

“Songs from John Lennon and McCartney Song book”

Who can ask for more than that? And the best to me tonight; Carly Smithson with Come together, Brooke White singing Let It be and Michael sang Across the Universe. Superb! I can just lost in it...

… Nothing’s gonna change my world…

seriously, any takers?

Powerhouse in small packages

2008-03-08T19:33:00.003+08:00

Lil' Champs (Sa Re Ga Ma Pa) has ended down in Bollywood land, nevertheless I won't mind watch the repeat shows all over again (Channel ZEE, ASTRO). These Bollywood kids can certainly bring down the house with their powerful range of voices (Weird how I wasn't really keen with those local singing talent shows) To my defense, I think those Indian kids really really talented in singing all those long melodically challenged Indian songs. I salute y'all. This has been my newfound interest on the tele!

Laugh all you want... I enjoyed it very much, because the show made me smile, cry and wanna dance all night!

Find all about it here

The new squeeze...

2008-03-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

Yep.. introducing this guy in my life right now, well, at least for a few hours every day or every other day. Isn't he's a cutie?

Funny Side Up! Wayyy up!

2008-02-27T22:26:00.003+08:00

I remember when my friend used to call me a joker among our clan of friends. Those who surround me these days will be wide-eyed with disbelief when they hear and see this. But I think I have that gift once (or maybe I still have, I just don't realize it? i dunno...), making funny remarks most of the time, have them laugh out loud till they cried. What a memory.

Watching LAST COMIC STANDING making me wish I am one of them, proving I am actually funnier the rest of the world. What a way to living life huh? Make people laugh ALL the time. A remark made by one of the contestant gave a good wake up call, “it’s either suicide or comedy man”. And he was an accountant, the parents made him have a secure job, don't we all have that kind of parents? (I used to want to be an accountant so much once), and I thought I am the only stuck with my job.

I wanted so much to blame someone or something for me behaving this boringly, the appallingly stressful work life perhaps? I am instantly depressed the seconds I step into that building. The only thing that gets me going is the fact that I still need to dress up to go there. Being fashionable and having good sense of humour, what a great combination of the essence for a rocking personality to have at this moment huh? Yes indeed.

Or perhaps… with the unforgettable words of John Lennon's sang beautifully by David Archuleta today in the American Idol, maybe I can just stand up and preach this…

“You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one”

When all fails...

2008-02-12T22:52:00.001+08:00

…there's always music to heal my soul. And while I didn't take leave this year for Grammy, the repeat telecast was just as sweet. From the first serenade by amazing duet of the late Frank Sinatra and Alicia Keys, to the next performance and awarded winners, the show definitely worth glued on the sofa for three hours (as if that was the first time I am a couch potato...) Anyway, all the performance was awesome, with 50th celebrated to the the max! A mixture of legends and new breakthrough artists made Grammy this year the most amazing event to remember. (Now I sounds like Grammy host or something...)

My favorites won, from the ever so controversial big winner, AMY WINEHOUSE to my hero Foo Fighters, Alicia Keys and my man, Michael Bublé, the Grammy certainly made my day... my awful stressful day at work. I am glad I am still sticking to what I liked best. MUSIC!

With five Grammy under Amy's belt, Rehab made me sounds like I might be a perfect candidate… for this:

"They’re tryin to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no
Yes I been black,
but when I come back
You wont know, know, know"

And I am off… to never never land, dreamin of my making my next acceptance speech. SWEET!

H.E.L.P

2008-02-03T18:42:00.000+08:00

People said “kawan ketawa senang dicari, kawan menangis seorang diri”, or something like that. And judging by my colleague’s/friend’s looks when I try to whine and whimper, I know they are tired of it. Peribahasa was derived from experience and when old generation brings that about to say about something or someone, it really is true. Sad as it sounds (especially to people like me) it is about time to hold any grievance to myself. All of sudden me being in peace about these things now is backed up by all the magazines this month which astonishingly ALL talked about stress management and be happy with ourselves. Even weirder when one of article that mention about ways to handling it and how people wrongly beat it before became an eye opener for me (I actually read all the articles this time). The article mentioned that talk about our bad/stressed-out day to colleagues or friends and by crying our lungs out behind close doors are actually a no-no. It won’t help diminish our anxiety; instead it only prolongs the grief further. Guess I have been doing it all wrong; no wonder I have lesser friends these days (well, plus me less hanging out with them lately) and more stressed out than ever. Anyway, suppose I have to be careful not to whine and rattle on about my dreadful days to others from now on, better start to learn to keep things to myself and diverted myself with something else I am at my happiest (yet to find what it is).

Until then, I do still need help by the way: (heard this recently on radio… just happened to be so appropriate…) Talking about irony.

*HELP by The Beatles*
Help, I need somebody Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, help. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured, Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, Won't you please, please help me? And now my life has changed in oh so many ways, My independence seems to vanish in the haze. But every now and then I feel so insecure, I know that I just need you like I've never done before.	Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, Won't you please, please help me. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured, Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

Double dose of S-P-A

2008-01-31T22:52:00.000+08:00

Went to Kelana Jaya and took mom to a SPA beauty house for a good one hour aromatic body massage that she really deserves last week. Siti have the same treatment and I decided to have the facial treatment at a promotional discounted price. And by 5pm we were rejuvenated, refreshed and are totally satisfied with the whole experience. I will get that massage later. Soon I hope, soon...

Back at the house next day, a letter with "Urusan seri Paduka Baginda" on the envelope was in the mailbox addressed to Siti. One good scream later (we are one loud family) Siti rushed to see what was it, and as what we have guessed, it is from the S.P.A. yes, the government sector. And guess what? She got the government job offer... mom was smiling from ear to ear, she just gulped and in her mind, saying (yeah, I am the mind reader), “I have to take the offer now or mom will be so devastated”. And she did... she’s just waiting for the second letter now (for the exact date to report for duty). Hmm, that sounds like she’s being sent to Afghanistan for war or something.

All I can say to that is, welcome to that part of the jungle out there sis... ONE particularly called the government sector...

yikes! (Whatever that represents...)

The death of the young Hollywood star

2008-01-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

It's like an epidermic... one after another young Hollywood star is dead, only last week I heard about Brad Renfro's gone, which is tragically unfortunate. Then it's Heath Ledger... Lots of talk about him being depressed since the dramatic portrayal of the JOKER for the latest Batman Franchise, "The Dark Knight"... but, my theory is I think he has been depressed since Brokeback Mountain, and that's based on my personal thoughts which I rather not said loud and offended anybody (if it will).

Anyhou.... it is definitely tragic... two hotties down and hopefully the rest will stay sober and love life more.

REST IN PEACE...

For more juicy Hollywood Celebrity Gossip, here ~~> Perez

Muharram 1429H and counting

2008-01-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I was envisioning about 2008 and what will the future brings, then I realized 1 Muharram worth more of contemplating. And to get things started, we got the news Atik is confirmed to further studies in Australia. She’s fulfilling my long lost dream, and I am so proud of her. Among all the fuss and excitements for the preparation, then only it hits me! She’s about to leave us for 1 or perhaps 4 years… I am going to lose the loyal company slash motivator slash confidant slash prodigy slash dentist on call slash etc you can call a best friend with! Well, at least for the next 24/7 times God knows how many days… but still…

Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Siti and I are preparing for the worst now. The house will become less noisy because of fewer people to argue with and any equal activity that sisters do… I hope Siti and I will get along well everyday, since no third person to turn to when we happened to be upset about some thing… hehehe… God help us!

Wow. I just don’t know how to react to that. I just hope this good news is the beginning of for more good fortune from 1st Muharram 1429H and beyond for her, for our family and yes, for all Muslims around the Globe.

Insya Allah!

So here we go again...

2008-01-07T20:51:00.001+08:00

Enter yet another year eh?

What has it brings so far? Now that we are going into the 2nd week of January 2008?

Well... of course with style and more of Ms Jones to come and conquer....

Ms Jones kickstarts the year with:

· Attended a very funny pantomime called Aladdin:

… staged in KLPac... which happened to be our favorite spot to chill lately... pretty cool way to unwind after those busy, very busy days at work. Thanks a zillion again to YTL...

What else? The truth is... not all style after all... I am stuck taking care of all the mayhem in the office... plus same old same old... very... typical old familiar routines....

*sigh* --> p/s: what a way to start the year...

O yeah, check out the new video on the right pane... a current fixation to my ear these days

2008… still all good… and I see a bright future ahead of me… heh!

Fun vs Commitment

2007-12-07T17:50:00.000+08:00

I do not know where to begin.

Seriously.

Let me just say it though. Till when do we know we are finally ready to commit? When having fun is all that we keep and trying to do to stimulate our tedious life. After all, fun does ensuing happiness, right? Can't fun eventually turned into something significant? Will it be fair to women when men are having so much fun, they can break out of the game anytime and anyhow they want? Do women give in simply because we are too hopeful and just need to depends on someone sometimes?

hmmm...

I don't have the answers. Do you?

A fantasy... :-)

2007-12-04T09:29:00.000+08:00

Michael Buble Lyrics
Me And Mrs Jones Lyrics

The fattening situation

2007-11-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

I don’t know what to do. Felt like screaming my lungs out, but my heart insisted I kept them all inside my head. This feeling tortured me in sabotaging my body every minute starting by a more regular visit to the kitchen, not to cook for the family, more like indulging my stomach even when it didn’t sing for a refill. After more junk food after another, slouching into the very comfortable couch of mine and a remote control in my hand, I, myself have made the whole situation looks and sounds even more sinful. Where is me who have been so self-conscious and will do something about it?

Definitely a turn-off. I am so disgusting.

Trivia Madness

2007-11-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

Currently hooked on:

Get it?

Being Thirty, a Muslimah, and to be in a Relationship

2007-11-15T11:31:00.000+08:00

It's that feeling again; me hitting the big 3 0 and unsure about things to come. What are my security, my career growth and most important thing how do I able to find love again (that's important?), well, since mom nagging me more about it now. This thing about hope, dream & relationships do keep me wonder all the time and bore readers to death! Anyway, at the time when I feel at the lowest about relationship, I came across yet another Oprah's show that again succeed to inspire. It has made me feel embarrassed and relieved at the same time.

The Oprah Winfrey Show titled "Thirty-something in America " is about women in their 30s with 8 children or no children after 7 years of marriage or minority in America etc. And then there is this one Muslim woman clad in a full attire as a Muslim, surprisingly looked like in a baju kurung and a veil, Mubarakah Ibrahim is the owner and head trainer of BALANCE fitness Studio for women in New Haven, CT where she offers fitness education, personal training and group fitness classes for women. Yes, she is fitness instructor who clad in full dress as a muslim Woman. So, nothing can stop Muslim or Muslimah from doing anything in life these days, as long it doesn’t cross the line.

She explained to Oprah about Islam, how she came about getting married at 16 after and only met the guy once after being introduced by a mutual friend or family. How she only dated if another person tagged along because that’s how Islam taught us to do. No holding hands, no intimate conversation etc. She made me realized mistakes I’ve done and I’m glad those past relationship didn’t worked maybe because they are not right or the way love is accepted is not right etc. Love was driven with all the wrong feelings, that marriage never in a picture or always seems wrong to endure. I am supposed to embrace Islam and live accordingly without crossing a line. So, I am right not to want to go on a date on regular basis and unless I got another company to go along and marrying the right person who can remind me the right way to love and live life as a Muslim. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with my relationship and me as I am living my life now; I just haven’t met the RIGHT one. And mind you all who to believe RIGHT being PERFECT. No it’s not, it just imply right.

Yes, that is the moral of the show I managed to ponder and learn, and another is how I can be in my 30s and a minority or not married or not having children or not having millions yet and still living life to the fullest. The most important is if I am living my dreams and I am happy then I am ok. I should keep on hoping for good things in life to come in whatever decade it will arrive. I just need to pursue my goals without having to forgo my faith and its way of life.

"My 30s should be about my family and career."

For you all, these are a useful link regarding the issue:
Oprah, Thirty-Something in America
Fit Muslimah

D-Gift

2007-10-30T08:12:00.000+08:00

Remember the wish list from last entry? Decided to discard all those dreams except maybe for one, the book. I'll buy it soon... wanna know why? Well, it's because I just received the ultimate price that truly from the hearts of my beloved... sisters. And it worth to strike through all those other things i can hope for. The thing?: the very pink SONY cybershot DSC-T70: (with pink leather casing included) Officially the best birthday gift ever. click! click! click! away...

D-day

2007-10-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

It's that month again, and I got excited everytime, never mind the number increasing... I am contented... Since they say I have a high taste, this is my wish list for the next 12 months to come, beginning 14th Oct 2007:

Book: John Grisham - Playing for Pizza
Job: A part time work as a sideline
Personal Indulge: A new piercing
Accessories: A diamond earring
Cosmetics: Christian Dior Addict High Color Lipstick, Estee Lauder Pleasures Delight
Shoes: A new Mary Jane Wedges, A new Wedges Sandal.
Home Furnishing: A new Dining table
Home: A new garage
Travel: Dubai, Bali, Adelaide, New York!
Love: someone...

And then I am done.

The Return of the Holy month

2007-09-13T07:46:00.000+08:00

It's Ramadhan again, and it just driven me back to do good deeds with the most generosity from this humble small piece heart of mine.

May Allah blessed us all with peace and a steady heart throughout the month, and eventually the rest of 1428H.

For all of you who were saying... "what is Ramadhan?" here is some light to it:

Ramadhan-pedia

Play House

2007-09-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

TUNKU the Musical

2007-08-26T20:10:00.000+08:00

Have been questioned myself about the perks of me being a YTL Platinum Plus member as I haven't received anything good to enjoy the benefits. Then , I got a call that I am invited to attend the musical simply titled 'TUNKU' at KLPac. Not wanted to enjoy it alone, I keep in close contact with RENU, one of YTL sales person to also include my friend who already a member and also to accept my uncle and my sister application to be a member and eventually got to enjoy the musical with me. And she did! Great job RENU.

So, as promised at the day of the event, we were served with some refreshments before the show, and that night, the shrimp tasted like heaven. That's how I saw the perks then. The show? was entertaining! I still thought it was wrongly titled though. Or maybe I didn't got the message? But the actors was brilliant! At one point there was Tony Eusoff standing 5 meters from me in a good posture gentlemen always standing, waiting for his turn to talk. He was gorgeous! Douglas Lim's great performance was my favorite, he is huge though! Maybe because I haven't seen him in action for quite some time now.

Overall? I enjoy it! Read about it

The FIRST wedding in the Family

2007-08-22T13:00:00.000+08:00

So they did... they got solemnized, and got married. And it was officially the longest week of my life. I was tired but satisfied. Thank God it all turned out okay, there was some excessive gifts... nevertheless it was a joyous occasion despite some disappointments over family ignorance, then again ignorance is bliss, so, I believe God had his plan. There are questions that I have become insensitive to, I.e. “so, when is your turn then?” I have no more emotion to that. I just smiled, and said whatever comes to mind at that time.

We managed to have a one-to-one session with dad, still, (he didn't even think of giving us some money) hmm... well, that's the dad I know, so, don't judge us!

Anyway, here is the sneak peek of the event in pictures because pictures do speak louder than words.
The photos.

I see a green wall and I want it painted NOT black

2007-08-06T20:52:00.000+08:00

While the Stones paint 'it' black, I decided to paint it... fuchsia pink, in my case ‘it’ being my bedroom wall. Funny how I decided to NOT go to work last Sunday and helping out mom with family stuffs as what every weekend have been designated for, and last weekend errand happened to be the day for me to paint my wall. Well, my colleague (or shall I say my new boss) did mention and I quote “it is optional for you to join the activity” hence me not present at the office, BUT I promised to keep my cell phone on, and turned out it rang… thus, I did my part.

And painting I was, with Michael Bublé serenade in the background, and my sisters helping out, it was a true family event, and the result? Lurvvving it! My wall is so feminine, I felt so graceful. Like Grace Kelly. Like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, not dumb, but smart enough to choose the perfect color that satisfied my taste.

For your sneak peek: (of the colour) or darker, or close...

My week of SPECTACULAR! SPECTACULAR!

2007-07-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

Had a chance to watch two amazing performance within a week.

1. Transformers

The best presentation of my favorite childhood cartoon comes alive... in a major motion picture. Although the ending could have been given a more powerful touch, am still enjoyed the crazy brilliant of CGI manipulation. Great job indeed! It was definitely "more than meet the eyes". Shia Lebouf is macho and machoer as the story progress, therefore another pleasure to the eyes other than the amazing talking machines being displayed before me.

Like it. Like it very much.

Wonder what I would be if I can transform into something. A multifunctional tv I supposed? hmm...

2. The King & I musical

Never was a fan to the movie, but the theatrical performance was excellent. It was sponsored, so, I have to cherish it since i went the distance to go and made full use of the gift. And to watch it alone... made me appreciate it a little more. It was awkward at first, but I survived. Among the unfamiliar, very appropriate audiences, I savor the experience, and that brings me to another strike to my list to do before I am actually hits 30. Thanks majalah WANITA (although u could have given me a pair) :-) The actors were brilliant, the voice is powerful and etcetra etcetra etcetra...

Those two shows definitely MADE my very hectic and choking-me-to-death week.

I wish

2007-07-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

for every human being on earth the best things in life... honestly...

Soundtrack is My wish by Rascal Flatts

I am the poor misguided fool

2007-06-13T21:43:00.000+08:00

A very single- lonely guy friend asked me the other day, “did you ever felt lonely sometimes”, and being egomaniac that I am, I smugly said, “no… I have my family and my TV.” I wasn’t really thinking hard for that answer, rather transparently replied in such a way because I was determined to make this guy seeing the positive in life (after sudden heart attacks hit him due to depression). Looking back, and started to analyze all the things that followed, I wasn’t sure anymore.

When I said I had family full time, funny how my dad never really loved me and the only pat on the shoulder I got from him was because I took care of his favorite daughter while she sicks, I was told to sacrifice for the sake of the girls’ happiness, hold off my thought to be married first and wait for the right time to pursue my next academic pursuit bla bla bla. With family, it was all about timing, reminders, responsibilities and obligations. In the end, I won’t mind, because “After all I still can get what I want, even when I am alone”. Really?

When I said I have friends, as time passed, things are ought to change sometime, and before I know it, they all have their own families to care about, to give excuses not to have gathering during long weekends, can’t go out at night and to not be there when I finally need someone to talk to, and me living far from them all, certainly not helping. Am I mad? Nah, I have nothing but respect to that, they put family first above the rest. And I am back at one. Mono.

When I have nothing but sense of self when comes to weird pastime and hobbies, I was so convinced that entertainment can save my sanity when in silence and emotionally unstable. I defend every sound and features being the savior of my dreariness when no one understands. I sings, dance and act in my own quiet world of self deep down inside. How so this is all carried about? Alone. Hmm…

I definitely fooled myself eh? Who am I kidding? Although it’s the last place I even want to think of going, it is to the loneliness lane…

Some say I need a comfort voice to soothe, and gentle eyes to watch over me with tenderness, and a heart so I can make mine as a complete pair of organs; all from an honest male donor. Yet, hope can devastate when the expectation is too high, but for once in a blue moon, can you blame a girl for that?

So friend, I guess I am lonely sometimes...especially now... *Sigh* Wish Starsailor can soothe me with this every time

I am Flustered

2007-05-30T08:22:00.000+08:00

So much for planning a perfect vacation way early, so much for finding a perfect time to suit others and in the end not mine and so much for putting other’s best interest before mine huh? Maybe that’s just the nature of me, always let myself down, guess I have been doing that lately... it was all unintended, I promise! Maybe I am not destined for all the good things in life. Maybe this just wasn’t the time.

It is still heartbreaking though, a total pain in the heart and mind. If only…

What else to do? Read.

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Currently reading…

No place like home in the end...

I am shocked!

2007-05-18T10:33:00.000+08:00

Come on now? They booted out MELINDA DOOLITTLE? What happened to all the Americans? Well, I guess they are in need of young American Idol eh? Still.. it's a major surprise in American idol History!

Dang it!

That's okay, Melinda will still rockin' the Music world anytime soon... she definitely will.
Urgh!!! Still am trying to digest the fact that she's out...

American Idol

I am hooked on E!

2007-05-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

I wish I can say E for the infamous blue pill - ecstasy...but...it is actually THE entertainment channel namely simply E! for ENTERTAINMENT of the one and only tindletown, HOLLYWOOD!, channel 76 on ASTRO... honestly... it seems like my fingers keep pushing the buttons numbered 7 and 6 these days (especially the long holiday I cherished so much spent in front of the tv - yeah, what's new?)...

so, gotta love astro eh? looooveeeee it!

I don't Love you!

2007-05-01T09:55:00.000+08:00

I Like

2007-04-24T15:31:00.000+08:00

My current obsession: http://www.ilike.com

Can't seem to stop guessing those tracks or the artists snippits...

what's the prize? nothing... which is even weirder... i guess music is in my blood, might not succeeded as the composer or the artist, but definitely the biggest fan...

Next Target: 25000 (as i have reached 20000 points)

hahahahahahaha

The new interest

2007-04-09T10:08:00.000+08:00

For some reason, I found men like LUDACRIS and Chris Rock is attractive these days... While Chris Rock due to the dream, Ludacris since after "CRASH" (which is a very good MOVIE) and the 49th Grammy Awards (which I can't get enough of). Maybe I should go out and buy that RELEASE THERAPY album by Ludacris (which is weird because I never really love rap music), a good release at least? huh?

Maybe just because they are African-American.

I dunno.

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The sweet dream

2007-04-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

Had a weird dream last night, nevertheless I woke up smiling and all, and it’s been a while since I last smile waking up. In addition to that, that happened after a very tiring four days of sickness, (still a good weekend though). Bad health made you feels hopeless, in my case, it just made me stronger, because I know now although independent sucks, it still is the best solution, the ONLY solution for me I guess.

Never mind that, so, what really happens in that dream you ask? The story was, I found the one, I fell in love and supposedly gotten married, but I woke up! Dang it! So, who is the mystery man? Heheh. MR CHRIS ROCK himself… seriously! It was the best love affair ever!

And suddenly I am a frequent visitor of www.chrisrock.com. What can I say? I am a hopeless lover. (or so I thought?)

The day I got shots

2007-03-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

It's exactly one week since I allowed myself to be shot in so many poses...embarassing.. but at the same time... fulfilling...

Want to know more? click here

enjoy...

hehehe

The weird feeling

2007-03-21T11:12:00.000+08:00

Out of the blue, I uttered these words to my sister last two nights, “I have no whatsoever feelings when I look at men these days”…

Huh?

I know what u r thinking. I wasn’t referring to the act of me confused with my sexual orientation or me going to other side thingy… it’s just, I dunno… it’s weird though. And don’t give me that crap “no, you just haven’t found what I have been looking for”... The thing is, how can I found 'him' when I couldn’t even take a closer look?

Seriously?

The Inconvenience Truth

2007-03-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

I am going to tell you a story about the day I was back at the place called Star Hill. Iza got the two free invitations to watch "The Inconvenience Truth" at the KLPac. Since she can't pick the tickets herself because she had to go back to kampung, I volunteered to pick it up for her. There was I with one heavy load on my shoulder just got back from a game (a certain treasure hunting activity) went on to go collect the passes. Still mad at my friend who refused to drop me at the exact place, I planned to leave the bags at the KL central because I needed to be back there to go back home anyway. Found out I need RM1.50 in 50 cents coins for the locker, I go changed the notes, only to find out later that there are no locker available. Dang it! Then, in a build-up fury, I walked on to Monorail Station to just go ahead without further thinking to Bukit Bintang Area and straight to Star Hill Gallery, the YTL Platinum Lounge to be exact. The minute I step in, Star Hill is even more lavish than I remember. All those fury and tiresome slowly diminished. That very moment, I felt calm at the same time I also felt inadequate and out of place. Feel totally like I don't belong, I go ahead speaking in a very good English accent to ask a gentleman who very much looked like a butler about the location of the place I wanted to go... with a very laid back t-shirt and jeans on my body, and a very heavy bags I carried, I walked on like a country girl coming to New York to the club lounge and took a breather in the lounge's sofa... it was a good feeling...

Although the truth is not as inconvenience as the title, the one that matter is the show itself, yes, the show that won the Best Long Documentary in the last 79th Academy Awards. The one about Al Gore and his war to fight the global warming and climate change to the world. The inconvenience Truth. It was definitely a good cause to preach, and an eye opener for me to care for things that matter that I always took for granted. Did I recycle? Hardly, did I use the water and electricity wisely, when I remember, did I ever care about the extinct flora and fauna? The access used of conserved energy. I am indeed one ignorant gal in this matter eh... time to change! Thanks Iza for taking me to the show. owh, did I mention I saw Sheila Majid during the show? Very much pregnant and still gorgeous!

And I need to move

I need to wake up

I need to change

I need to shake up

I need to speak out

Something’s got to break up

I’ve been asleep

And I need to wake up

Now

The Grammy and the Academy

2007-02-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

This business of me took a day off work to watch wards show really paid off this year… the Grammy didn’t disappoint me and Oscar is just as wonderful.

The 49th Grammy Awards

Although the Grammy Favorites become clearer each year, I didn’t mind John Mayer win again. Maybe Grammy always amused by the idea of peace on earth, and while Mayer waiting on the world to change, it is obvious that positive energy needed to make all that comes true. Who else can inject that positiveness in all of his/her music other than John Mayer, and the good looks and voice helps a whole lot more.

All other performances are just as entertaining, love John Legend (always do), love Christina Aguilera, who rose above the stage just after brilliant performance from three generations of R&B performers. “It’s a men’s world indeed” and Christina just belted out the right note to fight that! Awesome!

On the favorite genre, ROCK, didn’t really sure I like RHCP wins… but I guess 2006 is their year… so, they deserved it.

O yeah... among all the wins, my favorite was indeed Mary J Blige moments. After all the drama in her life, she deserved it. And her always-outstanding performance never failed to amuse, so, here it goes my newfound love for the woman and her music! No more Drama! (won’t promise that though)

4 hours later, I am exhaustedly satisfied… (hmm…)

The 79th Academy Awards

Firstly, Ellen Degeneres was awesome, the jokes are funny, to Peter O Toole,” you know what they say, three times a charm” hilarious!

On the nominees and winnings, too bad Leo didn’t get to win yet again eh? Still, Forest Whittaker and Helen Mirren did well in both their movies, so, they deserved it. Eddie Murphy’s lost is quite a shock though. It seems to prove drama always won when it comes to best performance in a leading and supporting role. But, Jennifer Hudon won right? It’s her other American dream came true at least? Whatever…

The performances were awesome. Melissa Etheridge won huh? I guess it is time to remind people of the world on the importance of global warming. Suddenly the thought of the land is shrinking is really scary huh?

The Departed won!!!! Yea!!! Hurray!!! So, Leo, it wasn’t all bitterness eh? Congratulations Mr Martin Scorcese, I will really like to act in one of your movies someday… someday…

4 hours later, I am contented and glad I shared the whole day with my mom! Her predictions mostly wrong and I am practically right all the time, so I won! An award for me, the undeniably biggest Hollywood fan in Malaysia... hehehehe.

The things that matter

2007-02-12T10:35:00.000+08:00

I guess I am not cut up to whatever I have been preaching lately…

I am not kind to be loved,
I am not entitled for new shoes
I am certainly not a good sister role model

What made me in a very good niche then?

When I am in the company of good music, good movie, and good circle of talented artist… did I ever say I like Mary J Blige? She is definitely a true representative of women's national anthem…

Stay with me baby…

The sisterhood and SHOES!

2007-02-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

My sisters and I have that very close bonds, I myself couldn’t even believe it sometime. Watching how they have grown and changed so much made me a little bit worried… that they will not need me altogether. I spend some past weekend catching up with our not-yet-seen DVD, among them, In her Shoes, the sisters’ bond in the story remind me a little bit about us, with a slight different in the brain, i.e. when I am smart, both of them are way smarter... And like Rose Feller would say,

“I really don’t make sense without my sister”.

I really am…

Sad. Suddenly such a bloody rush fills my head when the picture of them leaving me to begin their life with their own family playing on my mind. Well, on top of the moral of the story from the feature, something in that movie made me green with envy, which is… O my God! Did you see the closet full of shoes? I want them! I really want them, and judging by the look on your face boys while you reading this, yes, women do need more than 1 shoe, more than 100 in fact. All those Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, even plain old ever popular here, VINCCI! Give them shoes to me! Give me! Give me! In the movie again, Rose does make every sense when she said, and I quote;

“Clothes never look any good, and food just makes me fatter, but shoes always fit.”

Shoes do fit every time. Which reminds me, it is about that time for me to buy a new one. And my sisters will definitely agree with me on this… we are in desperate needs of new racks for all those shoes, and now that all of us are working, trust me, you will be amazed at how much shoes we wear… or needed or should have. Hehehe.

So, Atiq and Siti, Hopefully we stay close like this till the end of time, with them shoes and all...

And I quote another beautiful words spoken by Maggie Feller,

I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart.
I am never without it.
I want no world, for, beautiful... you are my world, my true.
Here is the deepest secret no one knows.
Here is the root of the root... and the bud of the bud...
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life...
which grows higher than the soul can hope... or mind can hide.
It is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.
I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

The month of LOVE perhaps?

2007-02-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

As any given February, the month never seems to bring my attention to other things than amor, cliché as it sounds, and the fact I am not supposed to celebrate the-most-talked-about day in this month, Love does fills my air, even though it doesn’t come from a particular very much visible significant other. The question is, am I doing it just to believe again, or for the heck of enjoying the moments as any other hopeless romantics out there? Well, for whatever reasons I can come out with, I needed that belief system stuck in my heart for me to at least have a decent intimate conversation with someone. I am definitely trying… reaching out to someone, and giving back to the very best that I can.

A little message from the humble heart of mine to all those love devotees/skeptics out there:

1. Flowers are still a nice gestures
2. Love always bring a smile
3. A little attention goes a thousand miles…

Therefore, y’all, work it out, for whatever state of affairs you are in.

The GIG that banned me

2007-01-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

Another new resolution for New Year, but seems inappropriate for 1428H, therefore I’ll say it’s for 2007. i.e. more gigs. And who will be next one in town? MUSE….Yes.

my life… you electrify my life…
Let’s conspire to re-ignite…
All the soul that would die just to feel alive

Ok, back to the reason why I am so not amused right now… the fact that the concert is being sponsored by TIGER Beer… caused a disappointment… at least to me, a very much Islamic follower. Turned out that the since TIGER beer or any other form of alcohol substance is a no-no in Islam, we are banned from attending it. Bugger! Although, and I said this hypothetically, there might be those who like to bend the rules, well, I decided to respect it and let it go not-wholeheartedly)… why can’t PEPSI or something sponsoring MUSE? Why? Why?

There you go… a lost to start off a more-gigs-resolution of the year.

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as you would have guessed, currently listening to: (esp STARLIGHT over and over)

The drilling

2007-01-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

Took another 3 hours and 15 minutes off the 8 hours routine down at the office, went to start a new resolution for the 1428H, i.e. be involved in trading shares and stuff… so, I opened an account, unfortunately, the process doesn’t take that 3 hours ++ long, so I made an appointment with the dentist.

So, there I was, at the most threatening place to be, on a dentist chair. Recalling all the experiences I had with other dentists previously, I know for sure, when there are no more tears after every treatment, and then I know I have found my most trusted one. Who would have guessed? That trusted one turned out to be my very own flesh and blood, my sister the dentist. After the gruesome drilling and patching and whatever stuff she did inside my mouth, and found out later that I didn’t cry? That’s the greatest feeling to have with addition to the disappearance of the pain. I can now smile painlessly. THANKS atique! (still hurt though.. a good kind a pain...) huh?

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Now am reading: